How do you feel pretty when you're ugly & feel ugly?

I haven't felt pretty since I gave birth to my daughter. She's 17 months now. I gained a bit of weight & it's made my face fat & unattractive. To make matters worse, my BD has made comments about me being unattractive & how he was surprised I gave him a cute baby.

It's hard to look in the mirror. It's hard to take pics of myself & look at them. I took some pics the other day & I broke down crying after looking at them because I looked so horrible. I try to do my hair. I still feel ugly. I tried to buy new clothes, it's not working.

I feel like no guy would ever want me. I want to date so bad but I'm so insecure. My BD has broke me down so much, verbally abusing me & I hate myself. I used to be so confident & I'm deeply insecure. I don't really know why I made this post. I just needed to vent. Has anyone been through this before?

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Your BD is being an a-hole. All women are beautiful and especially all mothers.

I would say, if beauty is something you genuinely enjoy & not something you do for other people, then splurge a little bit and treat yourself to some nice makeup or clothes or a nice haircut. Something to put you back in a positive frame of mind after those horrible and completely unacceptable comments from your BD

Sounds like your BD is the problem, not the way you look

Personally I know I need to get in the gym.No worries!Do you think your child want you thinking that way,no.

You’re going to be different bc you’ve chosen to sacrifice for your new born.

Jerk. Those are on no way acceptable comments.

I similarly have put on a bunch of weight and have a 20 month old (I think many of us can empathize with that) and it makes it hard to see myself in pictures. Doesn't help that no one takes pictures of me and my kid either which makes me feel like no one wants to take pictures of us (I have almost no pictures of me pregnant and it makes me so sad).

Something that made me feel relaxed and happy was a trip to the salon for a hair cut. I think I might do something soon to deal with the stupid mom whispies. A nice dress or outfit is a good idea. Trying to fit into old clothes that don't fit (or still wearing leggings from pregnancy... Like me) doesn't help my body image at least.

Your BD needs to get a grip with reality. You are beautiful no matter the size. My husband still tells me I'm beautiful even though I've gained like 50 lbs since I met him. My face does not look the same and my body doesn't either. (I was sick before getting pregnant too, which made me gain a lot of weight). I don't feel beautiful but he tells me I am so I choose to believe him. Go out there and find a man instead of this man-child.

You gave him a beautiful baby girl for goodness sake! He should be SO appreciative!

Also i would tell him to pay for you to get a 'You-day'. Book a massage, a hair appointment, get your nails done, and put on that new outfit. Leave baby with him for the day. Let him have a taste of motherhood.

*Edit* stress is one of the leading cause of weight gain and it looks like he's not helping you at all on that front so of course you are gaining weight. It's all related!

That self-confidence has to come from within. The more you choose to love yourself, the less his words will matter. That I can tell you from experience.

I agree that BD is contributing to the problem, but he shouldn't be the point of focus. He's irrelevant here. You are the focus. The beautiful you. The question is...how can you practice self-love? Not self-care. Self-Love.

I can attest that choosing to love yourself first will lead you to take good care of yourself. You will begin to love yourself as you are ("flaws" and all) and want to do more to heal your mind and body.

Suggestions for choosing to practice self-love:
1. Journal. Write down three things you love about yourself each day.
2. Get sunlight. Eat fruits and vegetables. Move (take a walk, jump rope, do a few burpees each day)
3. Know that this journey is personal. Your opinion of yourself will differ from others' opinions of you and that's ok. Don't give anyone else the power to take your joy.

Much love and peace to you, beautiful woman. ❤️

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