Husband is buying onlyfans.

I’m a SAHM but I plan to start working after I graduate with my masters in May. I discovered yesterday that my husband had a secret prepaid card that he uses strictly to pay for only fans. He’s also chatting with these women and he even sent one of them an explicit video . I really want to leave but my family is 4 hours away. Advice?

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Set yourself up after your masters. Get a job near your family. Start planning your exit x

Playing devils advocate. If you two are married married, do you think you could confront him and put an end to this and move forward, or is the trust too far broken for you? I’d be breaking things if I found this out, but we’d also have a convo then I’d be in his business like it’s nothing for a year and we’d be past it. If it isn’t physical and/or emotional cheating like love I can get over it for the sake of our family, but I know everyone has their boundaries. I just wanted to speak on the unpopular side in case no one else does. Explore your options once you’re calm. My first instinct is to run sometimes but ya know. Kids.

we’ve been married almost 6 years. I’m sure there’s a way that we could fix it with lots of therapy. But the secret account and sending these women videos is disgusting to me.Then the email receipts of when he was buying subscriptions were sometimes when he was supposed to be watching the kids while I study. Just yesterday he was at the barbershop with our sons and paying for content. He didn’t think to not do any of that because we have kids.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, too😂 I definitely see where you’re coming from. I get still being pissed, too, cause that’s a lot to get over. Like dude, priorities? Not to mention, who are you at this point with all these lies? But yeah, I was just thinking the fix it aspect isn’t as bad as getting over him actually having another relationship. That would be my “I’m done.”

Coming from someone whose husband LIED FOR 3 YEARS ABOUT ONIYFANS, leave him. Get your masters and ditch the dude. Gather your kids and go to your family.
I gave my husband CHANCES to be honest with me. He denied everytime. I felt I couldn’t leave because I made no money, had no car. But now I know I have somewhere to go, if I split with him.
Take pics of everything and forward those emails to yourself. When you take pics of everything, make sure to get a time stamp and his email address in the pic too. If it’s easier, print out the emails.
Confront him and tell him how you feel about it. The fact that he sent the video AND used it while he was supposed to be watching the kids is disgusting. Plan your exit and don’t confront until you have everything sorted. Just in case he gets violent or decides to act like you don’t exist(like mine did).
Prayers for you and yours 💜

Girl, that's cheating. Porn is one thing but when it means paying for it, communicating and sending videos? That's when it becomes cheating.

Drive that four hours and don't look back. I'd be doing that and filing for divorce. You both took vows, his clearly weren't meant honestly.

thank you for your input!

wow I’m sorry that happened to you 😞 yea I have no reason to believe he won’t continue this.

you’re right, thank you!

thank you! Was hoping to apply to medical school this year but I guess it’ll have to wait

Leave him

Leave! That’s cheating period!

Mine husband was buying OF our 3rd year into marriage. I confronted him & made him delete it. I found out bc I decided to use his email & password to see he had an account and damn sure did. He was tryna meet these woman & talking explicit to them, sent videos & pics of us doing things… few things happened after that but we have done alot of counseling and are in a much better place.

Did you say anything to him, or you just up and leaving?

What if you applied for medical school near your family? Dont let him stop you x

🫠 girl take that four hour drive rather you drive or you take a Lyft and do it
It’s not worth it
Men are absolutely disgusting and always have a stupid reason to the thing they do and think it’s a solid excuse for their actions

glad yall were able to work it out!

It’s not impossible but both people have to want to continue and work on it.

This can be true! I never realized it was such a real thing until I got married.

I’ve mentioned that to him before. He watches porn a few times a week, if not every day. And he told me I’m just trying to take things away from him

yes I said something to him, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Especially when I realized he was doing that around the kids

How did he respond?

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