Arguing with partner over newborn
Not even sure why I’m putting this on here but I guess I just need some opinions and to know it’s not just me. Me and my partner have a two week old and we’ve just been non stop arguing with eachother literally most nights since he was born, my partner didn’t work for months at the end of my pregnancy (not his fault there was issues with his new job and he was on sick notes for a month due to being unwell) but he got such a huge break whilst I was still really unwell. I wasn’t sleeping properly due to insomnia and being so uncomfortable and I was sick every single day and night so I couldn’t see my friends or do anything I wanted to do. ( I had HG the whole 9 months of pregnancy I’m currently weighing around 6 and a half stone). He only got ten days maternity leave with me due to starting a new job and he didn’t really help that much through that as he was sick again and “needed to recover before work” but i had an awful Labour and am in so much pain and exhausted mentally and physically. I stayed up most nights as he got annoyed if I tried to wake him up and the arguments just seemed to start out of nowhere which I just don’t have the energy for at all. Now he’s started his new job he leaves around 7 and gets back for around 7 (only for the next month until he can drive to work) I understand this is difficult for him so I haven’t asked him to help in the night but obviously when he gets back he wants some time to just chill he doesn’t seem to want time with the baby which is really hard when I’m waking all night with him and looking after him the entire day, as breast feeding and all newborn mums know u literally get no time to yourself at all. He also gets really nasty when we argue, calls me lots of names and uses things like my family against me.
I love him more than anything but I’m really struggling with trying to get him understanding how difficult this is for me. Is anyone else going through or has been through this? I just feel like whenever he does something for the baby it’s like a “favour” to me even though it’s his child too. Any advice on how to make it better cause atm no matter how I ask things or explain myself I’m “moaning” at him. I want to be with him as our relationship is beautiful 90% of the time but that 10% hits hard when it’s so intense.
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I think you should consider counseling for both of you.. You don't want to go into depression.
Sometimes men are incentives to our feelings
Because they don't understand what we're going through.
They think it's a luxury being at home all day
With the baby, because they feel we do nothing.
I think men also need to do baby classes so they can get an understanding that we need their support most after the baby is born.
You basically need support and you are asking for it but he doesn’t understand or see how he can give you anymore then what he currently do. What you are feeling is normal and common. You both need to work on communication and you both need to work together.
You need to rest. Do you have parents/in-laws or friends family that could help you? You sound exhausted!
Sorry you going there this darling 😔
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