Need some positive words šŸ™šŸ»

I’m a SAHM to a 5 month old. I bust my ass all day watching him alone while my husband works all day and all I hear from him and his whole family is how I don’t do enough and how my house should always be spotless and I should get up in the morning and do my makeup everyday and how my husband should always come home to dinner ready and I’m fucking tired I don’t know how I can possibly do more than I already do but nothing is enough for these people. My house does get messy we fucking live in it it’s a house I start something then my baby starts crying and things get left where they are I rarely am ever able to finish anything I do my baby is a lot he needs 24/7 entertainment he does not just sit and entertain himself for even 10 minutes for me to get anything done. I do as much as I can. I’m just feeling really down right now and like I should be doing more but I physically can’t. I’m literally on my feet from 6am -10pm watching my baby and cleaning all day I’m so tired of it. I’d appreciate any positive words I really need it rn 😭

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I’m sorry love ! Just know you are doing a great job you are a great mother in your son love you more than you know it ! šŸ«¶šŸ»

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It takes a LONG LONG time to acclimate to life with a newborn. I can see how they maybe trying to give you some motivation but that will come with time. Don’t think too much into it and let them know they need to stop bc it’s doing nothing but depress you more. I suggest asking your parents or them to watch your infant to give you a break. I never wanted anyone watching my infant either but I desperately needed a break and alone time. You’re in the thick of post partum which is completely normal

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Where does your husband and his family think you live? Stepford?
From 2 month old babies need a bit more than bottle, nappy changed and bed. My baby is really alert now ā˜ŗļø
Unless I have somewhere to be on the day I'll make any excuse to stay in my room with the baby. I can't remember the last time I didn't have breakfast in bed.
I don't wear makeup but I have my favourite skin products to hand as well as eyebrow stuff.
When I do get up mid morning I start with bottles (I love cleaning bottles for some reason)
The day will be a mix of baby stuff , housework and a bit of me time to either write my novel or practice the guitar.
As for the evening meal - well I do try and cook something nice and simple for me and my 17 year old son. Most of the time he gets to take away a plate of hot food while I'm grabbing bits between burping my newborn 🤣 mmm cold food 🤣🤣
There's one room in the house I won't touch - my son's room. Other than that I try and tidy up as I go along

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Girl it’s not just you, I promise! It doesn’t feel like it, but you will begin to hit a groove with it where you figure out what works for you as far as balancing it all. But your baby comes first and everything else is basically a cosmetic issue. You know what I mean? It’s so irritating when the grandparents act like that cuz obviously don’t remember what it was like with a newborn otherwise they would treat us like we aren’t good enough! I bet they struggled too!!! Just been too long for them to remember now 🤣

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They are being jerks. Parenting with pretty much no help is hard!!! Screw them.

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My husband likes to say have the easiest job and then he can’t last one hour loool

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he says I expect too much from him and that he can’t do it all either but honestly he does nothing if he’s not working late he gets home at 2pm spends 2 hours eating and shitting then he wastes the rest of the day going to hang out with people or playing basketball or playing his ps5. I understand he needs a break too but like every day to waste all day?? It’s getting irritating. I’ve been asking him to put together our patio furniture for 2 years now among a million other things 🄲🄲

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Is there a way you can book yourself some appointments or somehow have to be away from the house on one of your husband's days off? He can mind the baby while you go out. You'll get time to yourself AND he will have a better understanding of what it's like....not cool that they are being critical of you. Caring for a baby is not easy and who cares if the house isn't perfect!

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I know this feeling and if one day you can make him miss work and stay ALLLLL DAY with baby while you go to ā€œappointmentsā€ or something then maybe he might understand

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Baby is always number one priority while they are this tiny. That other stuff can come later. You have to deal with feeding and naps and playing with your baby. I will say that meal prepping has been a life saver for me. That and decluttering the house so there is less to clean.
But being a sahm means you're prioritizing your baby and his or her needs .
Cleaning can wait.
Meal prep when you have down time.
Buy baskets to hide all your shit in that you don't have time to deal with.
Also tell your in laws to mind their own business. 🫶

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he understands but at the same time he doesnt. When he watches him he’s literally unable to do literally anything else he can barely change his diaper by himself but somehow he expects me to be able to do everything! Today we were talking and we want to clean all day tomorrow since it’s his day off and he’s like well someone has to be with the baby only one of us can really do anything and I’m like so how do you expect me to do everything when it’s just me??? He was like well he takes a nap for 30 minutes I’m like how much can I really get done in 30 minutes I end up running around trying to pee eat do laundry vacuum mop all in 30 minutes like be realistic

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you aren’t alone!! i’m in the same boat. i always tell myself that my baby is my top priority. just keep the house clean enough to where it’s safe for her and the rest i can get when i have time. as long as your little love is happy and cared for then who cares if there’s some dishes in the sink or laundry that needs to be folded. do what you can!! baby steps. you’ll get there. (and trust me. everyone telling you that you aren’t doing enough is lying. they definitely struggled too!! everyone has!!)

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I could have written this also! I’m even lucky and have a cleaner 2 hours a week which honestly I duno what I’d do with out her. Trying to clean a bathroom with an inquisitive 11 month old takes 5 x as long. How did women do it back in the day I just don’t know … have you expressed to your husband that you’re struggling ? That’s what I did and why we agreed to get a cleaner to help take some of the chores as my LO only naps in her pram or car so I don’t get that time when she’s sleeping to ā€œcatch upā€

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Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

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Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

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Partner is giving me the silent treatment

So I was struggling with my postpartum anxiety bad yesterday. My partner and I was out for drinks with family. He kept making jokes about treating me a bit shit.
Which no one thought was funny. I am usually quite patient about him using me as his jokes, but yesterday it hurt.

When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

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wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said ā€œif i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.ā€

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

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6

FTM

Hello,
FTM here. At what age do you stop applying cream on nappy area during nappy changes? My 2 year old boy isn’t toilet ready yet but uses both nappy pants/pull ups and regular diapers

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Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣

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