22 weeks, feeling unwanted

Hey so my husband and I have been under a lot of stress lately with kicking a roommate out and financially struggling, that aside I still do things for him (hand, or bj) but I get nothing in return. When I tell him I want him or I’m in the mood he’s like “well I’m not, just not feeling it” but the next day he’ll ask for me to do something to him and I’m at the point where I say “what’s in it for me?”

He won’t go down on me- says he doesn’t like the texture or his jaw hurts but I do it for him. I stopped because it felt unfair and now that I’ve stopped making the first move we don’t do it anymore. Last time was had s*x was like 2 weeks ago.
I have a big belly and only certain positions feel good or do anything for me. Am I being the a-hole for feeling unwanted?

I return to work here soon. He’s been the only one working after a month so I do all the housework, make meals and take care of the animals. I just want a little pleasure when all I feel is discomfort from being pregnant

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My husband used to be the same with me. Have you tried talking to him about eachothers feelings. Men don't deal with stress very well and will often show it or take it out on their partners or loved ones. X

Just try talking to him about things about how you're feeling, etc, and see if he opens up x

So I went through this when I was pregnant, except I was the one not in the mood for things. My fiancé felt unwanted, and it wasn't because I didn't want him, I was just drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. He could just be too drained, and even though you're doing those things for him, he could just not be in the right head space to do it back. Because my partner used to do everything to me, and I just wasn't up to it to do anything in return. Try talking to him about it because he can't try to work on an issue if he doesn't know there's an issue. I know sometimes it's hard to start it up, but it really should be talked about❤️

I have. I told him how I’ve been feeling about it and he just told me not to worry about it pretty much. He said he loves me he’s just not interested in doing anything. When I asked why he still asked for “solo stuff” then just shrugged

@Kenna I feel similar. My loins are on fire 🔥 but more than that I just long to feel connected to my partner. We both work full time and have lots to do before baby comes. We don't make love like we used to... When he's asleep I don't like to wake him because he's getting the rest he needs and his mind is at peace.

I feel like sensual touching would be the perfect antidote to all the stress we're under. I'm starting to feel resentful even though I don't want to... these hormones are so powerful.

Would your partner be open to body rubs or showers together at least? Removing the sexual pressure but still feeling close?

It's hard girl, I feel you.

We unfortunately have a very small shower and he doesn’t do body rubs or anything. I just want to feel wanted again like before- the hot making love we used to have. Like you said there’s so much to do before baby comes and times running out, and once baby is here we’ll be too tired to do “it”

@Kenna I feel disillusioned at times, too. I just try to keep reminding myself of the good times and counting our blessings. Maybe his mind is in overdrive and he's feeling burdened to provide?

I know it's hard for me to get in the love-making zone when I've got a big mental load. Society implies that men are always up for it - so it's a shock when we learn otherwise... and naturally we take it to heart.

If it counts for anything, I think you're beautiful. And he is standing by you & baby. I think he's just adjusting and he'll come around in time. 🩷

You are so pretty I would never turn someone like you down! Your gorgeous!! That sucks that he's like that!

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