Advice
Salam sisters,
I have a 3mo baby and me and my husband are living with my parents as his family do not have the room to house us. Inshallah we will get a house within a few years but we are still saving.
Now, as much as I love my parents, they are my biggest critics. They make comments on my appearance and nag at me everyday at the small things.
I am worried that as my daughter gets older she will adopt these negative attitudes from them. I know this won’t happen for a few years but it does make me anxious the thought that I will be bullied by my children.
Mums that live with parents/in laws with older children, how do you stop that influence?
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It’s all about boundaries and communication. I would actually have that conversation in a gentle and kind way, and say ‘I’m worried about xyz’. Sometimes drip feeding things has a better effect than a full blown convo too. My mum was adamant about weaning techniques and I did voice my opinions (she’s always been open to this anyway) and we found common ground. Shes living with me temporarily so slightly different dynamics.
It’s also important we break generational traumas. I’d be more worried that my child would internalise some of those negative beliefs about themselves.
It’s hard to live with others.
Insha’Allah you’ll be able to move out soon and that will most likely help too x
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