What is wrong with me ? HELP

Sounds like you are overwhelmed and overstimulated - like most of us ! Every now and then I feel VERY irritable and get VERY frustrated and annoyed by small things- when this happens I know I’m at my limit and I need alone time/ completely alone- out of the house . I will go do something entirely for myself - nails or a massage sometimes - a few weeks ago I went to a movie alone. My husband knows I’m at my over stimulated point and watches the baby while I reset and have me time

In addition to above, also track your moods and see if these outbursts correlate to your cycle. Hormone fluctuations can make us very moody and make us more sensitive to stimulation, so you may need to look into adjusting your routine and nutrition those days you’re having a rush of hormones to help balance your mood.

Hey mama, I am so proud of you for recognizing that you are doing something you want to change. It is incredibly hard to change behaviors we grew up with, so this realization is a MAJOR first step! There have been some really great suggestions so far so I wanted to congratulate you on identifying what you feel is a problem that you want to resolve. That takes a lot of bravery to admit to strangers so I think you are awesome and I look forward to hearing more about your parenting discoveries and what you find works best for your morals/values and desires for raising your beautiful children 😊

there's a problem there I have a birth control in my arm, and I don't get my period, I do but I don't if that makes since, I would bleed for a day randomly but that's about it, and it so light like I don't really wear a pad it's like I wipe it off myself and that's it and go on about my day, so tracking my period is going to be hard

to relieve my stress I vape😬 it helps but at the same time it doesn't, I don't get free time or alone time, unless it's taking a shower and even then sometimes I do get interrupted by my husband for questions ECT. I tried leaving the house or doing something for myself like catch up sleep for my self I just pay the price for it like having to clean up everyone mess or having to deal with diaper rashes(my daughter is having trouble with dairy) I'm ebf my son and he hates bottle I co sleep with him, I do everything from taking the trash out to getting the kids to bed, every time I do try to unwind like I said I pay the price for it, and-

If I do leave the house I dread going back home I try to take my time out of the house but I get calls from my husband "where are you are you heading home now? Have you checked out of" everything
Last night I only got 3-4 hours of sleep my husband came home from a wrestling match and he came home around 4 am and he left at 11 am the day before I'm always tired, I know I'm not supposed to drink any energy drinks but that's what's helping me through the day

I understand. I had the same issue some time back. Then I ended up asking my Dr about it bc I realized I was doing what you are. They had me start talking to a therapist bc he was concerned about my mental health. Turns out I had undiagnosed PTSD( I had a horrible childhood) depression and anxiety. Not saying that's what you have going on by any means but it may benefit you to speak with your Dr about it so they can help. Remember to breathe and you are doing a good job. Yes your losing your temper but you realize it's happening so you can start correcting it. This stuff is crazy stressful but you got this!

Sounds to me like husband needs some encouragement that he can take care of the kiddos while you are out. Have you talked to him about how you are feeling and that you are taking on the lions share of the household responsibilities? I had to have this talk with my husband and we divided the "free time" so I could get some much needed time to unwind without hearing "Ammmaaannnndddaaaa!" From the other end of the house while I was "making a bowl of salad" it takes a lot of constant communication but I bet you and your husband can figure that out because I'm betting that once you can take a breath and relax you will find the strength to do what you feel is right. Without regular breaks from my 16 month old I would probably be right in your shoes and I don't have 2 under 2!

I don't have insurance really I do but I don't I don't have the insurance to cover the cost of that

I understand. I'm so sorry, it's not right people don't have access to something like that if needed

About once a month I take a super hot, super long bath - drink wine and blast music - bath salts, bubbles- everything. I really enjoy it and always say I need to do it for myself more . I even lock the dogs out - don’t bother me! Don’t talk to me ! Don’t ask me shit! I literally say to my husband “please don’t bother me “ 🤣🤣 I also do this for my mental heath.

Do you stay home full time with your babes ?

I do stay home full time, sadly we don't have a bath tub only a walk in shower 😅

it was a 4 hour drive then a 4 hour match then a 4 hour drive back he also had to wait in line for a hour and half to get inside he actually thought it was a 2 hour drive, no insurance, by the time I try to get time by my self in the room someone needs me, I do try to get out at one point I spend like a hour in the drive thru just to get a ice coffee from McDonald's, it was a Friday night and busy🙃

I understand about your arm implant, I used to do those. Now I have an IUD and don’t have periods with it either. You still have a cycle you’re just not shedding your lining or ovulating. Track your moods, cravings, or even just your thoughts; should still be somewhat cyclical. My “period” would have been last week. I get more easily irritated and crave chocolate, sometimes I still feel bloated and crampy but didn’t this time. Mine is around average length of 28 days so will have my mild PMS symptoms a couple days earlier than the previous month.

Fresh air and sunshine allows helps .we spend a TON of time outside every single day / just thinking of all the things that work for us to help with you