Antenatal Appointment

Hi all,

Has anyone been told that their Trust will not pay for their antenatal appointments and one would have to take leave/Toil/Lunch break for these appointments?

Looking at my trust maternity policy, the opposite of what I have mentioned is stated and the gov.uk website says that it is a left right to have paid time off for antenatal appointments.

I find myself hurt and quite upset by what has been said to me and feel rather unsupported.

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This sounds totally wrong! You are entitled to antenatal care and have to go to appointments that are given to you. Its a legal right! And HR policy backs that up for certain. Can be hard for managers to release you but it is absolutely necessary. Hope you're able to have a more positive conversation with someone else about that x

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Legally they have to give you reasonable time off for antenatal appointments. I would speak to HR if you haven’t already or a charity for support x

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Thank you both. I have sent an email quoting the Trust maternity policy, will go down the HR route if nothing changes.

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.


I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

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