Sleep

Any advice on this would be GREAT! My son is almost 3, and about 2 months ago, we welcomed home our daughter. It’s been a little hard on my son, but we have done all the things to help the transition be as smooth as possible, and he’s really been the best big brother. The last week or so, he has been refusing a nap, so then about 4-7 we have a very cranky toddler, and then he’s so cranky he refuses to sleep and we have to drive around until he falls asleep. I don’t know what’s been going on lately, I’m making sure he has plenty of outside time, play time, “mommy and me” time…I just don’t get it! Any help would be appreciated!

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It will get better ! My daughter is 7 months and my son is same age as yours. The first few months he hated her would rebel and scream. He went through a no nap stage . He could also be going through a growth spurt. So it's alot all at once for him. Just keep spending one on one time out of the house preferably. Mine likes to go grocery shopping with me

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What is his current schedule? They can definitely regress when big life changes happen 💜

My son also almost 3 had a regression the other week and was waking up in the middle of the night, which he NEVER does. He has been sleep trained since like 6 months old. I just used our original sleep training method and rode it out. It took about a week, and then he went back to his normal routine. I did shorten his nap from 2hrs to 1.5hrs.

Hope things get better for you 💜

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Also nothing in our life has changed

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So with my son we tried sleep training. His pediatrician literally told us there are night owl children that cannot be sleep trained. My daughter sleeps great, she'll wake up once for a bottle but straight back to sleep. My son can be tired and still wake up in the middle of the night.
I tried to do schedules when I worked from home and was with him all day. But honestly it never stuck. He never took long naps, even as a newborn. Everyone is different .

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I have a daughter almost 3 & son months and she would not want naps but same cranky. Would give her a bath and would tell her just baby nap or time to relax.. beginning was a little hard but thn she would end up falling asleep but I understand everyone is different
Hope things are better 💕

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

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