Baby daddy question

Hey yall. Hope all is well with you beautiful and gorgeous ladies. My kids father n I broke it off June 26,2023. Mind you this man was abusive since I meet him in 2009 ( I 18, him 23). Long story short, I finally got tired of his abuse n called the cops on him. We havent spoken until recently. He called my phone, I answered. He asked about my well being n the kids( im like u kno how they are; shit u talk to them as u claimed) n wanted to make sure I'm ok 🤔. I went for the kill. I asked about his recent marriage with a girl he claimed he just met 3 months after we broke up. He said all he wanted was communication and I said all I wanted was not to get physically, mentally, financially, emotionally and verbally abuse. He basically claimed it was my fault n how I should've never called the cops on him. I said I did what I had to do n it brought a lot of peace to me. I said I hated him for a while, lol he brushed past that n said he should be the one hating me n gone to therapy. Then he got a little sexual with me, I said nothing he told me to move on ( he's already married) and that we should just think of the well being of the kids. Im like its always been about the kids n why he couldn't text me? He said nothing.

I guess my question is why is this happily married man calling my phone to ask about his kids n I well being n to talk about our past relationship and how I wasn't giving him what he needed but again I'm a beautiful person in and out?

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Sounds like a narcissist trying to not lose you as a back up supply

The list of his issues is long. You took control of the situation and he wants to see if he can weasel his way back into your life. Please have strong as fuck boundaries with him. Men like that don’t change.

So he called to ask about the kids and you bring up the past because our not over it

i may not be over it in some ways! I just felt played and used. I talked about his recent wife which I felt was there the entire time. I felt also he didnt call just for the kids only. He could've texted me. But I'm working on myself to not bring up the past when talking about the kids

speaming of boundaries, he called asking me a favor if he can put some one " his boy" on my credit for 30 dayz. I asked myself why h can't ask his wife? This man is a joke. My boundaries are there thick as a wall Rebecca. But at the same time I gotta stop allowing any conversations with him.

Even if she’s not over it(abuse is extremely hard to get over)and even then you’ll still live with some fear from that. Him as the abuser calling her especially when married and then acting sexual? Sounds like he’s not over her or wants to continue feeding his ego and have control in some way. He could have just texted about the kids. There’s no reason to call unless there’s an emergency. If she hasn’t invited him to call and he still calls her, it’s pretty hard to get over it. If she wants to bring it up to remind him of what an a**hole he was, then I don’t blame her. Let’s not judge someone who’s opening up and asking a question or advice.

sorry for what you’ve been through. If it was me I’d set boundaries and also be honest with his new wife about what he’s saying to you and maybe keep a log of how often he calls you

he doesn't want me to meet his wife. I mentioned it. N I think he thinks I'm gonna air out his dirty laundry. I don't know who she were until she popped up on people I know on Facebook. You know what I'm content with it. In that conversation, he then wanted us to meet and greet
I kindly declined it. You're right I gotta set boundaries, which is what I've always struggled with

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️