Why the f*** was I not expecting this

Agree, it's tough! I'm hoping we are at the peak of it and it will start to improve soon 😩🥰

Lol. I know the feeling!

I've tried a variety of things. Maybe worth you trying too to see what works best for her.

1. I throw a tantrum too. I say OK wait, it's mommy's turn. Now your turn, now mommy's turn, now your turn. And we repeat a few times and she just laughs.
I did this loads!

2. I walked away and said she can come and find me or come to me when she is done.

3. I sit next to her and gold out my hand for her to take it and just quietly wait til she is done

4. I'll pick her up, remove her from. The situation, take her to another room, distract her or just sit with her and talk softly asking questions like what just happened, why is she upset and explaining why I said no or whatever.

5. I also realised if I instantly say no or stopped something, she will go in a full blown meltdown, so I started giving warnings...
You have 5 more minutes to do that.... You have 1 more minute....

When I count to 10 it is finished.

That way she was prewarned and now it will stop.

Or I'll say instead of NO I'll say are you sure you want to be doing that? Are you sure that's the right decision?

These prevent tantrums.

Hope this helps.
Good luck. It gets better.

I feel ur pain. Imagine having 2 going through that phase. Honestly sometimes I’m just like why lol.