Don’t want to be pregnant

I’m gonna get so much hate for this I know already so not sure why I’m even posting this but I just need to let it out and if I try and speak to people about this, no one takes me seriously and they all just say ‘it’s just the hormones making yoi mad’. This was an unplanned pregnancy, I didn’t want it, not even sure if I even wanted kids at all however my boyfriend was all for it and so was everyone in my family and friends so I just went along with it. I’m 26 weeks and just feel like I keep regretting my decision, I can’t bring myself to accept that my life is going to change completely, I don’t want the responsibility, I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that my life is basically now over and can’t do whatever I want whenever I want and the list goes on. I hate being pregnant, I’m not enjoying anything about it, I’m so angry at my boyfriend because he’s just carrying on with his life, out drinking and doing shit like usual, he’s away at a camping/hiking trip for two days with a massive group of people including girls and it infuriates me because I can’t go or do any of the shit he’s doing and I can’t get drunk and can’t enjoy myself. No matter what we do I just feel like shit due to the pregnancy and literally can’t enjoy anything. These are my last few months without a baby and I feel like I should be living life to the fullest and making the most of it before she arrives but I can’t even do that because my options are limited and I feel like shit most of the time. I know this is a horrible thing to say but I’m just so lost and have no idea what to do- not that there’s anything I can do because I’m in it now and I’m stuck for the rest of my life but I feel like I’m losing my mind. Please someone reassure me that they felt similar and when baby arrived their feelings towards the whole thing changed? I’m just so scared that I don’t want this and that I’m gonna be a terrible mother and I don’t want to traumatise my baby or ruin her life 😭 I just wish I didn’t feel this way and that I wanted this and was excited for it but I’m just not.

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I felt exactly the same! I never wanted children and I was told young I wouldn't be able to have children so I was completely okay with it. I'm struggling to enjoy it I'm excited for my little girl now however it has taken me weeks to come around to the fact. I had a decent job and my own home and due to being so Ill I've had to quit working and move in with family. I miss my independence I miss going out with my friends and doing what I want and I miss me I feel completely lost and I'm over being pregnant! My partner doesn't understand why I'm not enjoying it but my life has been completely flipped upside down. It's my birthday next week and I feel selfish but I have no plans bc I can't go out and do the things I would normally do! I'm totally with you I'm sure when she's here I'll adapt and love motherhood but as of right now I'm struggling I'm glad I'm not the only one x

When I found out I was pregnant, I almost passed out in fear and dread. I even had the dreaded conversation with the baby dad about all the changes and how much I'll miss it. It took me awhile to adjust to everything before labour, I think it helped not giving a s*** about him an his needs, when I started focusing on the baby I started getting into motherhood etc. It's just a whole mess for you right now and until you've found the right answers for direction or guidance, I don't think you'll feel any better. I was constantly asking peanut app loads of questions. So don't feel alone, half of us feel scared to be parents too x

I think lots of people feel this way ❤️ I think you should definitely give yourself some grace and just allow these feelings to go through you. Resisting them completely because it makes you feel guilty won't make you feel any better. You've still got plenty of time to find space for yourself before the baby comes. You mention FOMO, when the baby is here, there is nothing to stop you going camping and hiking. If you use Instagram, maybe a good time to switch up the algorithm. Find mums doing the things you love, with children.
I'm not sure how old you are, I'm 33 and didn't drink before I got pregnant (sober 1.5 years) so I've not missed it, but I definitely used alcohol as a massive crutch in life and used to be quite a wild person. You'll now find me on a coastal walk before a gorgeous lunch with a view or at the climbing gym, a yoga class or a spa on a weekend. (All things I will do with baby over time)
There's really too much to unpack in one message. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️