Feeling guilty for not breastfeeding

I totally get you. I really struggled to feed our first (3 and half years ago). I felt awful and a failure for stopping but she wouldn’t latch and I couldn’t mentally do it. I spent so many hours trying to get her to latch, then crying and not enjoying the time with my newborn. I also pumped for 4 weeks.
We have just had our second I always said I was going to feed in hospital then bottle feed him and I fed in hospital he latched really well but I stuck to what I said and Iv enjoyed this newborn experience so much more than I did last time.
It does get easier I promise xx

I had different but similar experience

Struggled to latch, continued, continued, lost a lot of weight, had to introduce formula, he massively went off the boob.

I went through a phase of being jealous of breastfeeding mums but I also know I was romanticising the idea of breastfeeding because I don’t know anyone it was straightforward for

What also hugely helped is the benefits I gained from formula feeding. Whilst I know nutrition wise breast is best, for me - mentally and physically I hugely benefited from formula feeding. I managed to get out and about very swiftly, I was in less pain, I was happier and that meant my baby was happier.
None of this was expected but I have to acknowledge those pros and look at it that way. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let me tell you, breastfeeding is never easy, even for those who breastfeed from the beginning. I'm one of those who is now EBF BUT it took me/us 2 whole months and a lot of help to get this work. I tried to latch after birth but ended up with very sore nipple and I was crying in pain every time my baby was at the breast. Ended up saying enough the second day and switched to pumping and formula and feeding her BM through bottle. She wasn't losing any weight but she wasn't gaining either and I felt guilty. Midwife put me on total rest from breastfeeding, they let me pump to not lose the supply and formula was the only thing that my baby was having and she was sick all the time (never managed to digest well any formula, this is why I felt so guilty that because of me that I wasn't able to breastfeed she was sick all the time). I worked with a lactant consultant that was an angel for us, she helped a lot, but even so I was almost giving up on breastfeeding us every time was a struggle, baby was fussy at the...

...all the time, every time was a fight, it wasn't a good bonding time but a struggle so I wrote to the consultant thanking her and saying enough I can't do it anymore. She came back to us and helped again. Well... After that we managed to make it work for the both of us, but I GAVE UP. At the end the important thing is the baby is growing fine, you'll be able to bond in many other ways. You did good mama

I totally get you sis. With my first he would not latch he would scream and scream at me but wouldn’t latch so couldn’t go past 1 month. With my second she latched perfect only on one side but I was making enough milk. Had to stop at 4 months . It’s awful I felt so bad but I guess I didn’t try hard enough but fed is best.

Unsubscribe from everyone promoting breastfeeding on social networks. It’s a huge social pressure that you don’t need. I breastfed until 9 months and when she stopped to latch, it was hard and even harder because every time I shared it on the internet some successful breastfeeding mama would start judging me what I did wrong or started asking questions as if I have to explain something to someone.

In therapy I got to the point that stopping bf was painful, because I was scared of her growing up and not needing me anymore. And that theese incredibly happy life might end at some point.

You show up for your baby in many ways than breastfeeding. I am totally with you and hear you and been on a similar journey 💜. Baby is healthy and loves me. Looks for me and smiles more at me. She cross identifies more with me than with dad (touches my face. She's even slobbered on it on two occasions and 0 with dad). Baby and I have something special even without direct breastfeeding. I do pump a small amount still and feed her whatever I can. But she doesn't know the difference between formula and my milk really. Only I do