in

Pregnancy & Motherhood

The devil is a liar.

Hey guys, I recently found out I am pregnant.
Before anyone comes to congratulate me, the guy I am with whom I already have a 8 yr old son with does not want it. He is telling me I am irresponsible and that I haven't accomplished anything in my life yet and have nothing to my name do i am not ready to have another one...
Mind you, I came from an abusive marriage before we met and before that grew up poor. Both my parents are poor, and I grew up in a religious cult, so I wasn't taught how to work. I was taught how to be a traditional house wife. However, I've been struggling with adhd, depression, anxiety and ptsd for pretty much all my life due to being abused in the cult.. I still managed to achieve things such as getting my GED and a couple professional certificates, learned a new skill (cake decorating)and working to heal from my trauma of childhood abuse. I'm managing to raise our son and make sure he has nutritious food to eat, clean clothes to wear and emotional support and love. Apparently that is not enough... but the devil is a liar and I won't let him stop my blessings from flowing into my life. I am still wanting to furthering my education in art and design. This pregnancy I believe is a blessing from God... I have gotten pregnant with him before, but was forced to get rid of it, twice. 3rd time I didn't know I was pregnant and had a miscarriage. This man does not love me. He is with me for convenience. I have housing and food stamps and he is not on the lease but he is living in the apartment with us due to our son being his. He has treated me bad throughout our entire relationship. He is building a house in his own country and is able to because of the government assistance. I know i am not perfect, but he's cheated on my countless times and gaslit me into thinking it's my fault... Earlier this year while he was visiting his country to check on the buildings, I made the mistake of allowing temptation to get the best of me. I was broken and discouraged and felt as though the father of my son did not love me. I thought about how he treats me and how I deserve better treatment. I was swarmed with doubt and fear. So, when a man at my job asked If I would go out with him I accepted. Due to my adhd, I have troubles setting boundaries as it is and it's effected me all throughout my life. But before that i have never cheated on this man even though he has cheated on me... The boundary thing is what I hate the most about myself. So, because of the fact that I cheated on him, he thinks the baby isn't his and says he will leave if I have it... Even though the cheating was done months ago and I have only been with him since. He says I am just having a baby to "get out of working or being responsible" because i can't keep a job. (I quit my job because of the other guy). Ive apologized and begged this man for forgiveness multiple days and multiple ways. I don't know what else to do about that... but this is why I say the devil is a liar. The devil is putting lies into his head and speaking through him to cause confusion and doubt in my heart. I believe that the devil is trying to block God's blessings from entering into my life. I know I must sound psychotic, but I don't care. Even though I grew up in a cult, I've seen alot of miracles that God has done for me and others in my life, so no matter how others have tried to use his name in vain, I will never lose faith in God. God is still my savior, and he continues to be every day. I believe God will get me through this and I will be blessed. Thank you for listening to my venting. Comment if you like and tell me your thoughts. I would live to hear them.