Off grid living 🏕️

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Is it normal to crave my partners 🍆 in me but not sexually

This is a late night vent session obviously but l make it short. My boyfriend and I went to a basketball game in Orlando. His sister was babysitting our son. We come back tonight for her to say he slept for 6 hours and just woke up. Now what type of shit is that. I’ve been feeling lately like no one cares for me or helps out in the way I need them to. People want to see you smile but don’t try to find the cause when you’re not. I’m an only child and my mom lives far. I feel very alone even with the dad involved. I feel alone and like I’m doing it all. I can’t even imagine having another kid which I want but this life here is tough

Sex life is 🫠

Im a little desperate already . Im not a huge fan on blowjobs but I’m doing it because I know he likes it . If he wants it in a car, during work meeting , on the balcony, on the beach everywhere I’m okay to do that . However, I’m not getting anything in return. I mean the last time he went down was more than 1.5 years ago . Okay, I was pregnant maybe he did not feel like doing it while I had a belly as he told me . , but I’m not pregnant already for awhile and I’m always telling him that I want him to go down and he is always having an excuse like “tomorrow “ etc . At the beginning it was funny and I was like okayyy but now it’s not as I’m not enjoying our sex in general . Like the process itself does not make me finish . As I’m breastfeeding and super dry down there and I’m always telling him to put lubricant as it’s hurting me . And sometimes it feels like I am begging for that as he is more comfortable without it , but damn IM NOT OKAY without it . So basically I do not remember when was the last time I have finished during sex . I understand that now with a baby it’s hard to fully enjoy it and have enough time for everything. But still . Just kiss me and put your dick inside me does not seems sexy . To be honest I understand why in marriage women does not want to have sex . Like I feel like it’s already work that I have to do not a pleasure. I’ve been telling him that but as I can see no changes applied 🫠

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