he SUCKS but I love him

i’ve known my bd 7 years. we dated when I was 19 he was 20 and we broke up abt a year after due to his cheating and insanity. we finally got back together (hadn’t seen him in 3 years) in jan of 23 and I immediately got preg. had my baby last october and his lived w me since april of 23. he tells all his friends he lives in a different state than we do and never mentions me and our baby. some of his friends have found out through my instagram and his parents know but like??? I let him back into my life after my family knew everything but he’s embarrassed to tell them abt us even tho my baby turned 10 months today. he messaged some girl the other day talking abt how her golf outfit was probably cute and he’s done way worse things then that. I can’t seem to find the strength to leave him bc he’s so good w the baby and I want my son to have a dad but at what cost if I have to constantly think abt if im good enough or what’s wrong w me? I feel fat, I feel ugly, I feel like nothing. if we both drink we get in fights and he calls me literally fat ugly and that no one cares abt me and I call him fag and he should go fuck his mom( bc I found him on trans dating app and i’m half gay so like??? just tell me why can’t we be open. also he’s a huge mommas boy and does whatever she says) I could go on and on. i’m fucking tired. I know real pure love exists but does it really??? I feel like even the “best men” end up cheating. i’m tired

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This definitely seems like a hard situation to forgive and move on from. Ultimately all that negativity outweighs any good dad qualities he may have with your baby. A child’s success is dependent on his mother’s happiness. Find someone who brings your peace and joy, they will be a great parent to your baby.

If he moved in with you then you can kick him out. If he’s such a mommas boy he can go live with her. He can still be a good dad from coparenting. Your baby will catch on to all that you feel and that won’t be good for your son. You have to put yourself and son first. What he’s doing to you isn’t true love.

he lives w me and my mom and baby

the problem his his home w momma is 12 hours away in nj so there’s no real coparent option

he has my last name and boyfriend isn’t on bc.

That kind of sounds like a him problem unless you are dependent on him to watch your son

I’ve been in your situation. I’m not going to lie it’s really hard. You have to kick him out. I gave my baby my last name and didn’t put him on the BC. it was the smartest decision I’ve made. He isn’t around at all. The verbal abuse is only going to get worse as time goes on. Take the time. Find a date that works for you. And tell him to be out by that date. It will be hard. He will try and argue. But it will be a relief once he’s gone. Since he has no rights to your son you have 100 percent control over what happens to him.

This is toxic I would never have took him back after the first time. There are better men out there

This is toxic how is he a good dad but can’t be a man and respect the mother of his child that don’t seem like a good man you need to leave him your son deserves peace not toxic think about your child please your doing more harm staying with him

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Hour night wakes and 5am get up

Can anyone shed some light as to why on earth my child doesn’t want to sleep??? My eyeballs are bleeding!!

Never been a good sleeper, but the problems always changing. He’s nearly 9 months old.

Beginning of the month he dropped to 2 naps. We could put him to bed at 7pm and he’d get up for the day at 6am, with multiple wake ups every 2/3 hours.

Now we put him down at 7pm, he can do a good 4/5 hour stretch, but come 1/2am he’s up every hour then getting up for the day at 5am. This then completely messes up the day because I can’t keep him awake long enough to even get to 7pm, let alone later.

He has 2 naps, roughly about 1hr10 each but it changed based on when he wakes and trying to get him to a reasonable bed time.

What could be the reason for this? 6am is fine, but 5am is not 😩😩

AITA

In the uk there is an outbreak of meningitis, in a specific area mainly. My BD has family from that area and decided to go and meet up with them, I said if he does then he cannot have contact with the kids for 7-10 days after incase he picks anything up. Am I being over dramatic? I reallyyy don’t want my young kids getting anything serious

I think its fair

Me and my partner agreed to sleep in 1 day of the weekend.
He doesn't find it fair to look after both kids (my 4 year old isnt his) while i sleep so he looks after the baby while i sleep and my toddlers at his dads and ill look after both the next day.
Straightaway it was pretty unfair as i let him sleep in until he wakes up 10-12
He wakes me up when baby starts fussing because he wants milk (doesnt need it)
I cant pump as i dont supply enough.
So i get woken at 9/9:30 to feed baby then i get him sleep then theres no point sleeping in as my toddlers being dropped off.
I also find it unfair that i get both kids to sleep most night, i get my toddler to sleep everyday hes home (4/5days) and i get my baby to sleep most nights with the exception of maybe twice a month as his dad struggless then about 95% of his thru the day naps.
I have also been unwell for a few months (tumor scare) and am waiting 18 weeks to see a specialist so im obviously petrified for that, so unbelievably tired and alot of aches and pains, specifically these pounding headaches ive been having.
After i had been up til 11:30 getting both kids to sleep lastnight and my partner falling asleep at 10 then him ignoring the baby cries all morning until my toddler woke up im fed up slammed to door and rold him not to expect to sleep in unless he gets the baby to sleep the night b4.
I keep having issues with him not feeling the wet from baby being sick or weeing himself or being able to smell it do about 98% of the time hes given to me i have to clean him up n change him.
Including at night, we agreed my partner would change nappies (1 a night at 5am) while i feed (2,4,5,6:30) but every night when i get him hes pissed through and my partner gets annoyed when i wake him up n moan about it.
Then the morning after hes annoyed at how much washing there is (thats his job) and moans about how often i change myself (baby constantly shits thru and sicks on me) and baby
Honestly im just so tired all the time

Over supply of milk

I am nearly 5weeks postpartum and I have such a big over supply of BM.
Has anyone donated / sold their supply, if so where do you recommend for this?

Crawling and walking

So my girl is 9 months now and shes great at sitting up and stays on her tummy for awhile but she seems to have no interest in trying to move or crawl or bum shuffle. Shes a big baby always has been but I'm disabled and I feel like it's my fault she's not hitting milestones I feel like there's something I'm not doing and it's making me a bad mum

Car seat

No idea which car seat to get next. Please hit me with your recommendations, 1year+ (preferably rear facing or 360). Thank you 🫶🏻