postpartum anxiety
At around 4 months postpartum mil was carrying baby and took him to the kitchen and stayed there for a while with baby out of my sight. I got extremely anxious and went to go grab him thinking nothing of it since she had been carrying him for a while already. In laws got offended and told my husband that my level of anxiety wasn’t normal. I somewhat agreed since I had social anxiety even before the pregnancy and once I gave birth it switched to separation anxiety. Although I don’t mind my attachment to my baby at all, I did speak to my dr about it just so I can tell husband “I looked into it”. I told the dr all about my feelings and how maybe I needed therapy bc I wasn’t planning on nor wanted to spend time away from my baby any time soon and I cry just thinking about it.
Dr said “a woman is in their postpartum period for 2 years, your hormones are going to take a while to regulate, especially if you’re breastfeeding full time. It’s biologically and instinctively normal to not want to be away from your baby. Do not let people make you feel like you’re doing something wrong”. So I’ve held onto that. He said I could still get therapy if I wanted though and I said yes just to hear a different perspective. They would have been over zoom calls and when they called to schedule, they said my baby couldn’t be in the same room as me bc “they’ll distract from the session. A therapy session about me having difficulty being away from my baby would have to be held without my baby being present. So fucking ironic, I declined.
Anyway baby is 1 now and I still haven’t been apart from him. I wanted to baptize him soon and I just spoke with the church.. I have to attend 2-3 classes for 2 hours each but get this, I can’t bring my baby. I’m so tired of society making it hard for new moms. Why isn’t America more child friendly? How are we supposed to reproduce and then we can’t bring our children anywhere? I’m so annoyed and turned off by the Catholic Church. I started crying just bc im so tired of feeling like everywhere I go, I have to leave my baby behind. Why is this so normalized? Don’t even get me started on society saying “kids shouldn’t be allowed to fly” “kids shouldn’t be allowed at certain restaurants” etc.
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Take them wherever it is that you want to go and see what they say? I breastfed for the first year and took my little boy everywhere with me and never got turned away. On the other side of the coin, I’ve been to events that’s said no children and haven’t taken my children because they are older now and there’s been children there. Don’t stress just do what feels best for you and if you get turned away, you get turned away but be happy to prepare for that. Sometimes I think when it comes down to it they are afraid to turn you away because your baby is with you! X
I’m so sorry to you’re experiencing that. It’s really annoying. Ik exactly what you mean—especially about having kiddos on a plane. I’ve felt such shame the moment my LO would cry. I’ve been working on it as crying is how they communicate, and I refuse to continue to feel shame for my LO communicating with me.
Also for the baptism, are you not already Catholic yourself? I did not have this experience at all. My LO was with me during the entire thing, and he was baptised that following Saturday. That’s very weird. The priest came to my house personally, met with my husband, baby and I, and we all sat and just got to know each other initially. Then the next session were his godparents and all of us again at the rectory. On Saturday, he baptised him. Sunday there was an international party by the Church, and we saw him again. Our Catholic Church has been so kind and accommodating. Our house burned down last May, and they personally even came down and helped us get everyone out.
My girl will be two in a couple weeks and we haven’t really been separate. We tried daycare for less than 2MO- she hated it; I hated it more. If I go out solo, I’m usually about a 10 min drive away max and she’s with my husband (and typically asleep). I’ve heard A LOT about it from people and while it used to affect me, I currently couldn’t care less. I SEE the effect of her always having me near. And as for places you can’t take her- I’d show up with her w/o asking. N if they say something I ask “oh should I just leave her out here then or how would you like to go about this?” Or if you do ask, I let them know I have to bring her or I can’t come. Some places change their mind, I’ve even had one place offer to watch her while I had a treatment done lol. But your doc is right, therapy is necessary if somethings affecting YOU and YOUR quality of life, not those around you. Maybe those around you need therapy 😌
Big up to your doctor. Because yes it is totally normal. But lots of doctor would say it's not (good for medicine industry and medical business). No you are not crazy.
The new mom gaslight is huge.
And yes the society is sick. Especially for you to prepare a baptism (which is for a baby!!!) and you can't take him. That's not ok. I would just not do the baptism. But that's just me. Noone needs so much stress
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