Thoughts on the need for young nieces and nephews holding your baby??
One of my big triggers with PPA is how other young kids are around our baby. He is 7MO now, so the attraction has lessed only slightly. I have nieces(and in-law ones), that are young, like from 3-8 and NEED to hold my baby. I get it that it’s cute for their parents but their parents also do not supervise or if they do, not well since he’s been squished too hard before and cried, and has almost been dropped, so my overly protective ass yelled but only a “hey! If you’re holding him you have to be careful!” Or “no we do not squish!” And got some looks and weird scoffs from parents.
My hubby knows this stresses me out so he tries to help lots so it’s not just me. However, my in-law nieces only want to hold him or play with him since the adults like looking at him. So they jam toys at him thrashing them in his face, and fight over him, his toys, and fight over holding him which I cannot stand so I often say he needs to feed and will be back.
They do love him and I get that, but it’s constant fighting and then when they hold him, they ask for pictures, act all cute and then ignore him completely and get annoyed and upset when he’s upset.
How do I manage this without being a total b**ch?
Or am I crazy for being annoyed? For reference this is like every other weekend, and the entire duration of the visit, they even fight over where they stand for diaper changes and use to fight to watch me feed which I denied.
Do I just keep watching like a hawk and have parents annoyed at me?
Or can I somehow set healthy boundaries with the parents?
Our son has physical needs as well so he is not mobile at all yet
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Be a b****. He is YOUR baby not theirs and if they can’t respect your boundaries around him then they don’t get to hold him or interact or whatever you say no to xx
I would let them hold baby but very closely supervised. Like you are 2 inches away in arms reach.
You can correct them nicely. And remind them of the rules BEFORE you give them baby. "Hey hun. Yes, you can cuddle baby. Remember, he likes gentle hugs and he doesn't like being squeezed". Then place baby on their lap.
I've found that it helps to give the older kids a bit of fuss and praise for any good behaviour & just give them a bit of attention. The more I ignore an older kid and just pay attention to my baby the more they try to interfere in a negative way.
Totally fine to have boundaries that annoy the parents though.
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