Struggling emotionally 😞

I’m not sure what I’m looking to gain from this post, maybe just a bit of support.
The past few weeks I’ve felt my mental health getting worse and it’s starting to concern me. I’m struggling to sleep and will wake up randomly in the night with terrible thoughts and worries and can’t get back to sleep.
I feel so guilty because the joy I’ve been feeling about having our baby just isn’t there at the moment and I feel like the worst person in the world, and that our baby is going to have a terrible Mum.

On top of that, I’ve started a new job before knowing I was pregnant and won’t be eligible for statutory maternity pay so I’m constantly worried about how we’re going to manage financially, all while feeling like I’m not well enough to actually do my job.

All in all, just finding everything quite tough right now and blaming myself a lot. 😔 Any advice or support would be welcomed

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So sorry to hear you are feeling like this!
I've been feeling so ill (15.5 weeks today) that I feel very negative about my pregnancy and although I know it's what we want, in finding it so hard to convince myself of that at the moment. I've just been signed off work for 2 weeks so I'm hoping by the time I go back I can feel a bit more positive and more symptoms will have gone.
I'm not sure if this is helpful but you're definitely not in it alone being the only person who feels like this. It's really really tough got lots of different reasons but blaming yourself doesn't help - I'm sure you're going to be a great mum!
Can you take any time off with sick until you feel better?

Thanks Sally, and sorry you’ve been feeling so unwell.
Appreciate the suggestion but I’m worried about taking any time off because I’ve not long worked there and haven’t told them I’m pregnant yet, and also with financial worries about when the baby comes I’m wanting to save up as much as I can before April. Just feel quite stuck 😔

Hey hun, sending you hugs. It's not an easy process with all of this you have going on and then on top of it you are making another human being. In this moment you want to have a piece of mind and enjoy the process but you may feel life is just not on your side right now. There are things you can seek like grants and job seekers allowance. If you speak to citizen advice they can signpost you to the right things to apply for in preparation for your newborn. There's also lots of free mother and baby classes you can attend. It's just about looking around your local area to see what's available. I appreciate this is isn't easy for you but taking one step at a time and tackle on thing at a time helps. I work in the mental health industry so if you ever need a 1on1 chat let me know. Happy to support where I can. I also support with customised mental health worksheets to support mums during their pregnancy. Let me know if you're interested xx

Have a look at maternity allowance as even if not eligible for smp you should be able to get that x

in our community

Wdy think of this for a toddler to learn word construction?

I'm open to anything else to start teaching him to read and write. He's 3!

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Vaccination advice

I’m really looking for advice and opinions on vaccines for my baby. I’m not against getting them but also just don’t feel like I know enough about them to make a decision just yet as I’ve had people say to me they don’t agree with them and they can cause issues etc… so I just want as much info as possible. What are everyone’s thoughts and experiences of vaccinating your child? I’m just interested to see everybody’s views (no judgement as I just want to know I’m doing the right thing) thank you x

Naps

How is everyone doing for naps?

Little one is 9 months old and will have 2 half hour naps and one solid 1 hour - 2 hour nap a day

Then settles for night around 9pm. Wakes for a feed around 3:30 then sleeps until 6-7

Stroller

Hey,

Baby is getting slightly too heavy for his travel system now.

I was just wondering want strollers people recommended. Thank you