So frustrated

My husband and I are unemployed right now looking for a job. I’ve been sending him jobs that he can apply for and he’s iffy about them I don’t have a car that I can drive (we have a car that’s stick shift) and I had a interview last Friday for the county of the town we used to live before and in like hm okay I can apply here and since he’s looking for a night time job I can look for a am job since he wants to work nights and i would be off by 3 or 5 and he would go in at 7 or 8pm that’s the night shift but anyways he never took me to the interview he said he felt lazy and I didn’t wanna risk driving the freeway with a stick shift???? So I told him I’ll apply for the same place he’s going to apply for whether it’s am or pm and he’s like of course you would wanna do pm, that’s when it’s shady and I’m like wdym? He’s like yea don’t act up dumb you know what I mean I’m like uh?? Like as in dealing drugs,cheating,stealing, drama?? And he’s like yea cheating why are you trying to work nights and I’m just like dude that’s not why I want to so now it makes me think he knows where he’s getting himself to, because that company is known for everyone to like flirt with each other and sometimes cheat lol so now I think well he’s applying for night shift and he’s saying all this crap I did ask him if that’s what he thinks ill do or if that’s what he’s gonna do and he just says well why do you wanna work nights

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sounds like you both need to sit down and talk a good long while about how you will work your relationship out

Sounds like he’s hit depression. Everyone handles being unemployed differently. I remember when my son’s dad and I were unemployed. He wanted me to be a stay at home mom which I had never done so I was stressed knowing we lost 1 income and then to be home alllll day with the kids feeling like I wasn’t contributing. Then my son’s dad got laid off and he took it out of me when he wasn’t sleeping day after day after day. Comments like “when are you gonna get a f**k*n job?!!”. We eventually went our separate ways. Have a talk. Tell him that it’s not okay for him to talk to you that way and that you BOTH need to do what WORKS for you AND what’s NECESSARY for THE FAMILY because you’re a TEAM! If you need help with resumes, let me know. I can help, no fees. Just parents helping parents.

That’s BS on so many levels. 1. Not taking you to the interview. 2. Insinuating you are disloyal and calling you “shady” when you are trying to be proactive 3. Planting seeds of jealousy and then gas lighting.
Sounds like he is controlling and game playing.
How old is your LO do you have family near by?
I’d get some therapy for yourself so you feel supported and can get clear about what and who you want and need for yourself and your baby/ babies.
It can be so had to know what’s appropriate and what’s real when you are sahm and always with the dad. Hard to get perspective. Dm me if you want! 💕

I don’t have family, we are currently living with his sister just for a month idk what to do I am so tired , exhausted I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. I just break every night, today he has been so off he’s been acting like a total jerk with me making comments here and there. He gets so upset because I’ll have a sex drive here and there and then it suddenly goes away and he gets upset bc I never wanna do anything, I did laundry today I folded our children’s clothes as well for ours and he was looking for an item that he couldn’t find and threw the clothes everywhere because he misplaced his item so now I have to be the one to pick it up and fold it back up. Our daughter is homeschool and only goes once a month and tomorrow she has to go and since his car his stick and he has to take me he said we’ll see who takes you tomorrow and I’m like it’s fine I’ll just ask my aunt but I guess my aunt can’t since she works early so I’m fucked basically lol my daughter won’t be attending

I find it fucked up because he knows how exhausted I am, he knows I just need rest he even tells me and for him to just throw all the clean folded clothes everywhere???? And not care just shows me so much and I know tomorrow he’s gonna tell me sorry that he was just annoyed but still won’t help and he will continue to do so.

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeling like I’m failing

Hey guys, I need some advice or some positivity here!
My daughter is 5 months next week and she has her first tooth coming through! Yay! But for the past month or so she has become so wary of family whenever I go to visit! She screams, won’t settle, cries the whole time. I went for my birthday to celebrate and I had to leave because she just would cry looking at anyone :( it’s so hard because she used to be so good with anyone!

Will this change or is this just the way she is? I try to see them as often as I can, and my MIL is looking after her in two weeks overnight and part of a day and I’m petrified of what’s going to happen, that she’s going to scream. My poor MiL 😭. I’m a very calm and collected person and I don’t get worked up when she does react this way… I just feel so sad and down that I can’t be with family and that my poor girl is scared. I give her so many cuddles, milk, toys, going to a quiet room, but she just doesn’t settle 😭

Please someone say this is a phase and there is light at the end of the tunnel ?!!

With the weather getting nicer I just feel we are going to miss out on so many lovely family memories

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide