Getting rid of dummy

I'm in a similar boat to you, and spoke to my friend who is an orthodontist. I never give it to her during the day (unless like you said she is having a breakdown crying, I give it to her to help soothe and then pull it out after a few mins).

I let her use it to fall asleep, but it always falls out of her mouth so it's not in all night for 12 hours straight.

All in all, I'd say she's actually only using it for a solid hour or two all day which isn't enough to affect her teeth or speech development.

I would start by being firm with your mum and MIL and telling them you don't want to see it in her mouth unless it's nap time.

Baby steps is personally my way, and I think you can start by ensuring there's a dramatic drop in usage first.

For me cold turkey is akin to the cry it out method which is not for me.

My boy used to use a dummy, I weened him down to nap and bed time. He then started sleeping on his front so I took it away once he was asleep and transferred him to his cot. And didn’t give it to him at night. We then went down to just giving it to him when we were out and he needed a nap in the pram. Then stopped doing that too. I still carry one even though he hasn’t had it for 4 months. 🙈

that's the most sensible approach I've read to weaning off dummies!

My baby used dummy to sleep and to calm down, so I planned to slowly reduce using it from naps. But actually I went cold turkey because it wasn’t that bad. For few days I rocked him to sleep and I also calmed him down. Then when he forgot about the dummy things went back to as they were before, except I have to hold him to calm him down in hard moments

But it wasn’t bad at all. I think that’s still young age so they are not so attached to it yet

Thank you everyone, I will try to reduce use and see how we go. My worry isn't actually about getting her to sleep, I can do that without dummy, but she wakes very very frequently (sometimes hourly), and popping the dummy in she will sometimes just roll over and go back to sleep rather than needing to be picked up and I'm not keen to go back to having to rock her to sleep all night long 😂 but equally I am hoping to get rid of the dummy during the day time at least.

We used to use a dummy for sleep and very occasionally during the day for meltdowns. We ditched it a few weeks ago because it was causing sleep disruptions (he was waking frequently and crying out for us to replace it for him to resettle - he would resettle instantly when we put it in). We went cold turkey at night (still gave it for naps initially as a sleep consultant said not to disrupt naps at the same time as changing night times). It took 2 nights of crying when we first put him down, then he never cried at bedtime again. By day 3 he didn’t even have it for naps. He’s also started sleeping right through the night (>50% of the time at the moment), and we can put him down at bedtime, walk out and not have to go back in.
I still have a few that I pull out if we’re really struggling to get him to nap out of the house, but I haven’t had to give it for more than a week and that time he settled quickly, then took it out to actually fall asleep xx