Marriage...

Me and my husband have never argued. This was before our baby came along.
As soon as baby has come along, all we do is be horrible and argue.
It's always "I did this so you can do that"
Or "I bathed him last night so you can do it tonight"
Very tit for tat.
I sometimes sit and think what life would be not being married to him anymore.

I dont know If I'm just really bloody bored.
I don't know if it's me.
I don't know if it's all just Abit much and my husband just doesn't get it.
But I'm going back to work this week, and I know it's going to be hard. I don't know if now I'm going back if it will help or what.

I just feel so miserable.
I love him. And sometimes I'm like. Why did I worry and stress.
But sometimes he absolutely does my head in.

I thought by now things would have evened out. But it's just doing my head in!!
People at the start told me it would get better..
But I'm just bored of the arguments.

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We're in the same boat. He's always "why can't you take her" after I've spent the past 12 hours plus all night sorting her out. Or a "that's your job" like dude she's our baby not just mine just bloody well look after her for some of the yucky bits too. It's been driving me nuts and when I try and speak to him about it he uses work as an excuse it really gets under my skin then he wonders why I'm so grumpy. We're not married but defo in the same boat

I'm pretty sure they say the first year after having a baby is the hardest on relationships - we're 3/4 of the way there Mama!
I get it, my partner and I argue more now than we did before we had our little one, it's so tough. I think it's so easy to slip into it becoming a bit of a competition of who's done what etc, maybe it's worth speaking to him to try and have an open discussion of being aware you're both doing it and try to combat it. Try and spend some quality time together, even if it's an hour a night after baby's gone to bed, no phones etc to try and reconnect and remember why you got married.
I think its hard for the partners if they go to work everyday, to really understand what its like at home, because it's easy to think they're at home all day it must be easy, but we know it isn't, communicating that isn't always easy though. Just try and talk to him, and be patient, I believe things will and do become easier, just got to be patient 💕

Thanks ladies. Honestly I just think sometimes it's just us going through the absolute shit.
I'm not glad others are in the same boat, it's just nice to know your not alone with it! And it's not just you!!!
I'm hoping once I go back to work and when we get home it'll feel more 50/50 since I won't be with him all day anymore. I might feel like I want to do it with not being with my little boy all day!

I hope you guys feel better soon with it all too!!!

Who knew it would be so hard 😭

this!! It’s the ‘you get paid to do it’ that gets me 🤣

@Shannon "get paid what though" is usually my reply 🤣

I think a lot of it is also the other half understanding the exhaustion that goes on in our heads.

We have to think of anything, and everything and we can’t really shut off.

I don’t know about others but the constant ‘extra’ thinking I have to do is exhausting itself and it can deffo play a role in arguments. Communication is key.

And we know that going to work is a break.

I think once LO goes to nursery a lot of the ‘thinking’ is lifted and it should become a lot easier.

absolutely!!
Couldn't agree more!!

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.