Giving birth as a foreigner
Hello everyone! I would need some advice on my tricky situation, please.
My partner (who is british) and I (german) met in Australia a few years ago and it was always out plan to maybe move back one day.
Currently I got pregnant, which wasn’t planned as I was told I wouldn’t be able to.
Now my partner, and I adore him so much for it, is kind of stressed about the money situation here in the UK, also we do not feel like it is the best country longterm to raise kids. He just wants to make sure we are set up properly and there are no worries, also he wants me to be a SAHM (yes I do want that too, I’m not forced into it).
There was a bit of a terrible job situation and my partner is sick of it and see’s that moving is the best option right now. He would want to do some work first and save money, get a house sorted while I probably stay back with my parents in Germany. Of course he would come for the birth and stay with me, but we all know this is not ideal at all.
Now long story short, is it a better plan for me to move with him straight away and give birth down under? He will get a sponsorship and I know I would be able to be with him on a partner visa. But how is that looking financially, what issues could there be. How is it with giving birth as I would prefer to have a waterbirth, either at home or in a midwife unit? Any advise would be highly appreciated 🫶🏼
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Hey 👋 Congrats on your pregnancy. Would be worth looking into processing time. I'm married to an Aussie and it still took 18months to get my partner visa from the UK. That aside, I did the first half of my pregnancy in the UK and gave birth in Aus. I cant talk to the birth experience in the UK but the services available and pregnancy process through the NHS was much smoother and better run than Aus. I've given birth in both Victoria and Queensland and they were both meh. The cost isn't a factor as its a few hundred at most. The midwives are good and home births as water births are supported. Given its your first bub, however, i would recommend staying with your parents then moving over. I just think immigrating to a new country AND having your first is a lot. I moved interstate just after having my first and had no family around and it was brutal. Good luck.
Are you able to have your parents/ or mum come for a couple of months when you do give birth? If so, I would suggest moving with your partner. Pregnancy and labour both come with their ups and downs. I was always more relaxed with my husband being with me, and he really enjoyed being part of the whole process. There’s also bonding and growing as a family. End of the day, there are many things that need to be considered and discussed/ thought about before making the move:
- can your parents/ parent come down for a couple of months to help with the new baby
- what will the expectation be of your partner when the baby is born/ what does he expect to do/ what do you expect him to do/ will he be able to contribute or is his goal to set the family up first/ compromising on helping at home.
Ensure there’s open communication between you two so that there’s no room for disappointment because feelings were not expressed, resulting in expectations that were not met
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