I can’t decide if I want another baby one day
I think I might, but I’m really not sure. My husband and I have a 14 month old and we always thought we’d just have one. Lately he keeps mentioning things like “well if we have another one day we’ll be glad we kept this” etc.. He was cleaning out our closet and decided best to keep the pregnancy pillow “just in case”. I’ve honestly been having similar thoughts myself. Thinking, maybe it’d be nice to have another. After all, our relationship is strong and we’ve honestly been happier than ever since our son was born. Genuinely we love being parents.
But the thing that makes me hesitate about potentially having another is that like my son is my world. I’ve been super attentive with him, we cosleep, I’m with him 24/7 and he pretty much has my undivided attention. If I had a second, I would be worried that he’d be sad adjusting to not having my full attention, and on the other side of that same coin, my second baby would have to be raised a bit differently than my first was as a baby because my attention would now be divided.
Idk I guess when I type it all out it sounds kind of silly because I think with a bit of emotional intelligence and a lot of patience I’d be able to navigate said issue just fine. But I do have one last worry. I’m scared of having a difficult birth, because my family needs me. I need to be there for them.
Ngl I kind of get butterflies every time my husband mentions “if we have a second” so there’s that!!! lol
Idk why I typed all this and if anybody is going to have any input, I guess I just don’t really have many people to talk to and I’m curious if anyone else is in a similar situation. 🤷♀️
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I say go for it! My kids have a 2yr 9m age gap. They are each others best friend. My daughter who’s 14m is obsessed with him and he equally loves her and protects her every chance. Yes your attention is divided and it’s taken me 14m to adjust to the fact she is ‘robbed’ of the attention that my son received but at the end of the day we are all trying our best! It’s been amazing to see how different they are in almost all aspects. Your heart grows in ways I didn’t even think were possible
Hey lovely, I know exactly what you mean! It’s definitely hard when you think of it that way, and you are right because when there is another child in the picture, you definitely have to split your time and attention between both of them. And the mum guilt will always be there regardless of how much you do! 💕
But on the positive side, think about how nice they will have each other to bond with. Do you have any siblings? I have 3 and I can’t imagine what life would’ve been like if I was the only child. I know it’s really easy just prioritising the one child you have and giving them your all. But if you think about the future, would you be happy with only one child? I think it just comes down to you and what you think is best for your family 💗
Bruh have another. I want another so bad and I have and almost 5 year old and 15 month old. I have baby’s fever so bad pls have one for me hahaha
Thank you ladies for responding!! ❤️❤️ One other plus to having another, I didn’t account for this when I made the post but children can also entertain each other so maybe my kids wouldn’t be as affected by having my attention divided as I thought. So I’m certainly not writing it off, I’m going to ride this wave with my husband and see if I can get to the bottom of how he really feels. I think the reason why he hasn’t just out and said it is because he’s undecided like me! But hey, we always wind up on the same page!
I would say, when your baby is young, it’s very good for them to have your undivided attention, but it’s not so good as they get older. As they get older, they will want to be more independent and it is healthy for both momma and child to slowly go through that process. ALSO, it’s REALLY good for children to have siblings when it’s possible to do so. My brother has just one. His son has asked for a sibling since he was old enough to understand it. He’s almost 9 and actually has severe separation anxiety BECAUSE he is acutely aware that if his parents die he will not have anyone. He’s in therapy and on anti-anxiety meds over it and everything. I’m sure he’s an extreme case but still… siblings are a good thing.
I want another just because i love my son so much, and we always talked about having 2. I would love another cutie to love on. My husband is still wanting to be done so far and doesn't see that changing. He finds the early years too exhausting that so far he doesn't want another. But he also doesn't want to close that door completely and keeps keeping things 'just in case we have another'. 🤷♀️ I'm coming to terms with only 1. But I also don't have a good sibling relationship, so that plays a part, too. And my baby cousin (20F, I'm 32) seems so happy, and she was an only... it's a tough choice to make. There's also the financial side, which is helping me come to terms with potentially being OAD. We can afford so much more for just 1 than for 2. It makes it tempting to just stop, even though I'd love another too. It's a really hard and personal decision. I hope you can make your choice and that you absolutely love it now and later in life! Best wishes♡
It seems like you want it!!
I'm OAD and the thought of having another kid is like a horrible nightmare and my husband felt the same, thank god.
I think you want it more than not and your husband too so go for it!
My kids are 15 months apart and we're doing pretty good 😂 daughter is 3 in aug son is 2 in Nov
We couldn’t decide and got pregnant on accident and we’re thrilled. Which helps us know it was the right thing. I say go for it 😂😂 They’ll be 20 months apart.
The other day on a walk I said “do you ever think his (our son) life will be easier if he has a sibling to be able to relate to?”
And my husband said “yeah, I do think about that sometimes.”
👀
Download the Peanut App
