Does your partner want to come home after work? Or does he ask you if he can do something else constantly?

I’m getting fed up with my husband. Like he constantly wants to be out and not home. He already works crazy hours. I’m literally just home and thought this is what he wanted? We talked about having a family for so long and how hard it’s going to be. He already gets Wednesday at 10pm because he plays basketball ball. Mondays he goes to the gym after work… like now he asking if he can go see his friends. Like on a week day? Anyone else dealing with this?

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I need to have a serious conversation with him, it makes me feel so unwanted. Like I should have know he was going to be like this since he didn’t have a father. Someone to show him how to be one. I should have known better than to do this to my kids and my self. We deserve better. Someone who wants to be here. I’m constantly begging. I hate it… he constantly asking to be some place else.

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Idk personally I want my husband to have a life outside of family and work and he wants the same for me. It’s unhealthy to just stay home all the time if you’re someone who has hobbies that need to be done outside the home (like basketball) and a social life that you want to participate in. My husband is in a band and has practices with them sometimes twice a week until late. He’s also a runner and rock climber and does that after work some days. He also goes out with friends sometimes on weekdays. I do the same. We’re having twins soon so things will change but I hope we both can maintain some of what we love outside of our relationship and family. Maybe you can have some days where you go out or he can include you in his social life?

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my husband works from 8-7pm. Mom-Sunday. Some times he get work off occasionally. He gets Monday and Wednesday to play basketball ball and go to the gym.
He gets about an hour with my daughter and that’s it. I don’t think that’s acceptable. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old.

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My man comes straight home after work he calls me on his first break and stays on the phone with me the rest of his day at work everyday he wears an ear piece so it's connected to his phone so we can communicate the whole time while he's working. He works second shift for he goes to work from 4pm to 230am in the morning Monday to Thursday. So not only can I talk to him through out the whole week while he has his ear piece in but I can also hear everyone who talks to him while he's working colleague wise so I know he's not off doing nothing he's not suppose to be doing also have a app that shows where he's at all the time so I know he gets to where he needs to be safely and he hasn't hit a tree or a deer or something on his way to work and his way home he stays on the phone with me the whole way home as well even after he gets off work so I know he's not falling asleep at the wheel.

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My hubby has hobbies and see friends during the week. But then whatever we do, our late nights are spent on the couch cuddling and watching our shows. I think it’s healthy for both mum and dad to have hobbies and friends outside the marriage but if you’re feeling neglected it’s getting a bit too much then. Do you guys spend time together or do anything on weekends? There needs to be a balance, and we shouldn’t have to feel like we’re begging for his quality time like if it gets to that point then yeah it’s a bit much. It’s already Wednesday for me, maybe plan something on the weekends were you can spend time w him? We have a monthly date night and we have a double date booked for 2w time, and go markets together on Sundays as a family. Like in between his and my social life, we have plenty of time together and it works here. If you’re craving for his time tell him, and maybe yes he can see his friends but then organise something in next couple days where he can spend w you.

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He works from home. I go to the gym for 3-4 hours after getting off work

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I have the opposite problem I can't get mine to leave the house except for work

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My husband works about a mile away from our apartment. He comes home every day for his lunch hour to eat with our toddler and walk the dog. At the end of his shift, if he’s ever home slightly later than usual I know I can expect flowers or a treat because he cannot WAIT to come home to us🥰

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My hubby always comes home, and if he does want to go out he will ask but comes home to see us, say hello to our son and then goes, or even waits until after our sons Bedtime so he doesn't miss out.

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My husband gets up at 5am to go to the gym in the morning before work so that we have evenings together.

We encourage each other to go out with friends and what not, but that’s only occasionally- family time is priority

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I get texts from my man all day about how much he just wants to be home with me instead. He calls me and says it too. He groans about having to leave for work because he can’t with me. He jokes about taking me with him to work every night before bed. My man loves me and I love that I know that without a shadow of a doubt. I do however wish he was better at making male friends, outside of us. His only buddy lives in another state. I think it would be healthy if he wanted to do something without me, even if the thought just made my heart ache.
We… we may have some attachment issues lol. It’ll be five years together in August.

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My partner gets back home every single moment he can.

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My man will be gone for daysss one time he spent an entire 3 weeks except one night each week just to have sex and play with baby for like 30 minutes. He's living between here when he wants stuff and play dad then goes to others or his grandparents. I kicked all his "friends" out of his life because they're low lives but now it's between here and his grandparents only. Still though honestly I'm to the point I prefer him gone and just find myself wanting to be away more and more.

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I'm not dealing with this. My fiance works 60 hours a week. And the first thing he wants to do is go home and be with his family. I understand the gym once a week. but he needs to prioritize his family first over his friends.

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my husband also used to hang out with his friends after work for an hour or so and even on weekends. but after our son was born he’d come home to spend time with us. and text me all day that he just wanna be with us. now our son is way too much obsessed with him so he has no choice 😂 when we don’t get to spend time together like ion weekend or if it’s a busy week, i would tell him how i miss spending time with him without sounding too needy because men hate it. so he would understand and make it up for me

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No. My husband is like so pumped to come home. That would make me sad. I’m so sorry. I hope you can find other ways to fill your cup too.

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There has to be a balance, yes it's good to have hobbies and be able to do your own thing, but it's also important to have a family life and a relationship. When do you get time for your own time or hobbies?

My husband goes running 3 times a week, but he always goes either first thing in the morning or evening when I'm doing daughter's bed time then we have the rest of the evening together

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I’d be irritated because why am I doing all of the childcare for our children alone lol

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My husband is always home as soon as he can be, owning his own business he works a lot so he takes every chance he can to spend time with our son.
We value our hobbies and independent time too though, 3-5 times a week after our son is in bed he goes out snowmobiling with his friends and I go out most Saturday afternoon/nights with my friends. We don’t have many common hobbies in the winter, but in the summer we golf 4-6 times a week together.

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Mine comes straight home unless a coworker asked him out a week in advance. He works 15 hours a day so I have the baby all the time. He has the baby in the weekend so that I can have a break and catch up on sleep. If he wants to go out, he takes the baby with him.
He has hobbies and a lot of friends. He doesn’t ask for permission but we do give a heads up on our plans.

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My husband works from 3pm to 12:30am. He goes to the gym after work.. which is when we are sleeping but then stays up watching tv. it only irks me when I wake up to a messy place because then I'm wondering wtf he was doing.
I had told him I would like him up for 11am and he said that's difficult and how when you work days, your day is after your work. I'm like bro, you can expect to just not see your daughter before and after work.
It used to irk me because I wasn't going out and doing my thing but I just started planning stuff so now he needs to be with the baby while I do stuff around noon.

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Yes he does however he usually stops at the grocery store sometimes because it’s too much for me to go with 3 littles. On his off days he’s with us and he probably does something about once a year or 2 times at most with his friends

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Oops I hit the wrong button. My husband never ask to go anywhere after work he always comes home.

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My man would spend everyday and night with me and the kids and be very happy if he never had to go anywhere else

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So yes he comes home cause he works evenings.. 2pm-1130pm Mondays-Thursdays. Then he has to wake up at 630am with the babies cause I have to get up early too to get ready for work at 830am. So he doesn't have a choice. He can go out after work but he'll be exhausted if he doesn't sleep.

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Mine comes home but sometimes will want to go out but that’s fine with me.
When he use to work crazy hours I found it was hard for him to be home because he isn’t use to do “nothing” maybe that’s what he is struggling with?? Sorry momma

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My wife works 50hours a week. She comes straight home. On the weekends she wants to be with us. If her friends invite her to something during the week day she will check in to see how I'm feeling so far and then we go from there. Even on the rare times she goes out after work she always brings me a snack and a beverage 🤣 and will do something extra special the next day because her going out means I did morning and nighttime routine solo 🤣

If she was already doing 2 things after-work for herself (gym is a form of self care and basketball is also self care and social time) then I'd voice that I want one day a week (at minimum)where she comes home and I go hang with MY friends solo or where I go do a hobby or do the gym.

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If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

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24

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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2

13

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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19

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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6

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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12

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?

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5

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