Best co-parenting schedule for a 5-year old?

Reasonable is all
Relative. Do you think it’s more beneficial to your child to be with you on those nights ? X

Is it affecting your son spending half at yours and half the week at his dad’s?

What was your concern to make you apply for primary custody? Seems unfair to take that time away from his dad suddenly if there is no reasonable concern.

I grew up in a split home spending Monday-wednesday at mums. Wednesday to Friday at dads and then they would alternate the weekends. I did this up until I was 16 where I decided to live full time at my dad’s.

can I ask, from your experience, was splitting time hard for you or do you think it was best that way?

I’ve had some concerns. We’ve been co-parenting for 3 1/2 years total. My main concern is that our son shows a lot of anxiety when he goes to dad’s. His dad has a hard time controlling his anger and our son has shared with me at times that he’s scared when dad gets angry. For more context, I left the relationship because it was very high conflict and my ex is verbally emotionally abusive (he still is towards me, even being apart). He also ignores the court order at times and won’t let me have phone calls or makes it really hard for me to have them. Anyway, over the years since we separated, our son had gone through periods of stuttering, night terrors, and extreme tantrums. Those things have gotten better as he’s gotten older, but sometimes I feel his self-esteem and confidence are affected when he’s with his dad. They do have a bond that I do not wish to break, and I know he loves him very much, but I also want to protect our son or help him experience less anxiety.

Not at all. That’s all I knew. As I got older obviously there might be commitments that I have that made it easier for mum or dad to have me on a day that wasn’t there’s but there was no issues.
I knew no different . 😊
We alternate Christmas and Boxing Day every year and only up until I hit 30 did that change haha. X

If that’s the case 100% agree with you asking for primary care lovely!
There was no issues with my parents co parenting and no issues with me splitting my time.
Do what’s best for little man xx

No advice on schedule as I’m struggling with almost the same situation with my 5 yo and his dad. But wanted to show support.
His dad is emotionally abusive to me and I left him when I was pregnant. He really only started to try to see him regularly 2 years ago and it’s been hell. I went through court to try to make it more “peaceful” but honestly that was a waste of money because he doesn’t do the schedule and if I tell him no about something he wants he’ll take it out on me. He once told our kiddo that I was dead and wasn’t coming back at one of his visits. The court doesn’t care at all.
A therapist told me literally all I can do is be a totally safe space for my little one when he comes home and I should not bad talk the father to the child because I get to be the role model for how to love. However I am entitled to set strong boundaries and say no when something is not helping my boy.
So ultimately I support you making a decision for your child if it helps him!

If you try and he blows up and if y’all ever did go to court I would recommend staying emotionless and have concise documentation. The court in my opinion didn’t seem to care about my kids emotional well-being so hard facts and consistent emotional abuse are the only things they’ll consider. And emotional abuse they’ll care if you’re lucky.
I think we’re mostly in it by ourselves when it comes to that.

thank you for your words! Yeah, I’ve had to have a lot of practice with remaining emotionless when it comes to interactions with him. He blows up a lot, especially when things don’t go his way or I don’t do as he says.

You can do this and your boy will be okay because he has you.
There’s a whole lot of women whose baby daddy’s are so controlling it’s scary. I see having a boy is such a huge responsibility because we have a chance to break generational curses of men who probably didn’t get emotionally intelligent parenting themselves.

yes, completely agree with this!