What age does a baby self soothe ?

My 10 week old only falls asleep and sleeps for long stretches contact napping. Will go in the crib but only when transferring from sleeping soundly on one of us but wakes up 2/3 hours max later. When can a baby start self soothing and any advice on how to stop contact naps please?

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Baby is still very young. I would enjoy those contact naps whilst you can.
It’s normal for a baby to wake that often at that age as they’re likely hungry.
There is no set age when a baby will settle themselves. All are different.

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Enjoy the contact naps whilst you can. My youngest is now 2 and very occasionally she will fall asleep on me and it's the most wonderful thing in the world to just hold her as she sleeps.

Also 2/3 hours is an amazing stretch for such a little baby.

Sounds like you're doing great

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Our baby was horrendous until we sleep trained at 5m.
Some babies just can others can’t. That young it’s really hard you can’t teach them anything x

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Babies generally need some support to master the skill of self settling. 10 weeks is still quite young and baby feels safest with you 🥰 sleep pattern changes around 4 months (hence the 4 month sleep regression) so even though it’s a difficult period, baby will have a more established routine and it’s a good time to do gentle sleep training. Follow the Facebook page ‘Sleep Well with Hannah’ or she had a book about her CALM approach. It’s slow and gentle and it works ☺️ x

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Every baby is different. What you're describing is normal (despite what everyone on social media's routines imply). A lot of the ability to genuinely self soothe is temperament not something they learn. As an example my 2nd baby is nearly 12 weeks and can fall asleep independently if the conditions are right and she's in the right mood. By contrast my first is 2.5 and has knyl fairly recently started falling asleep completely indepently at night (although she was able to sleep through before she could fall asleep alone).

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Self soothing is generally a concept created by sleep consultants to make you think something is wrong with your child and ‘sleep train’ them when it’s extremely normal to need comfort back to sleep until much later in life.

Some babies are happy to thumb suck, use a dummy or just babble back to sleep. Most aren’t able to however. Nothing wrong with trying some of those tactics but don’t be surprised if they don’t work and baby needs you.

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Ye enjoy contact naps girl! My 12 week old doesn’t fall asleep on me during day anymore 😭 and at night he is sleeping in his bed. But i think it just depands on the baby

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I wouldn't even bother trying anything until they have gone through 4 month sleep regression they r far 2 little at that age x

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Self soothing isn't a thing, as above it's something created by sleep consultants to sell you a package. They'll get there eventually when they are ready
Enjoy those contact naps they don't last forever

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6 months and still doesn't self sooth. Haha. They'll eventually learn it.

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My baby woke religiously every 2-3 hours until about 12 weeks, and now at 15 weeks he is sleeping 6, 7 and 8 hour stretches! I think they just mature and their sleepy hormones increase so they know it’s nighttime so it keeps them asleep longer :-)
We also started using huckleberry for daytime nap timings which I think has helped 👍🏼

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Babies don't self soothe - it isn't possible as they don't have the brain development. There are babies who need soothing (vast majority) and babies who don't (very rare) - people who sleep train are not teaching self soothing, they are teaching them to not ask for soothing. It's not recommended to sleep train until at least 6 months as it can be harmful for small babies.

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I think the message behind all this is. Hang in there mama! You’ve got this.

Nothing bad lasts forever. The good stuff changes too but it’s all their growth.

Mine is now 10 months and she got more and more fun as she’s grown.

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My advice to help you not have as many contact naps would be to maybe use a baby carrier or if you have the ability to, maybe go for a walk as well. Switch up the options a little for baby so they aren’t always reliant on contact naps soley (which can be exhausting and something not always possible).

An option for at home naps can be lots of practice placing baby down very close to being asleep, and help ‘shhh’ baby over. Over time you will find you don’t need to do as much shhing / touching and baby is doing more themselve. I would encourage practicing a ‘cot’ nap once or twice a day, 1st and 2nd nap are usually the ‘easiest’ and if baby wakes after a short time just help them back to sleep if you can, by contact if needed. The older a baby gets the more comfortable you will feel practicing more. Trying laying baby down at bedtime is important as well, again juuuust before baby is asleep. Shhing and touching can help send baby to sleep here as well. It all just takes practice :)

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Following wake windows of around 1-1hr15 is a good base as well, so attempting naps after baby has been awake for around 1hr-1hr15. Usually they can tolerate more towards 1hr15 if naps are pretty solid. By around 12 weeks roughly 1hr15-1hr30 is typical for wake windows. Those can really help day time and night time settling as well. You can definitely gently help guide to some form of ‘self soothing’ with help and assistance when baby needs it, and taking a step back when baby is doing well. Practice, patience and consistency :)

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"self-soothing" is actually a misnomer - it refers to kids being able to regulate emotions, not their ability to fall asleep. The reason they tend to be interlinked is because often babies get severely distressed when they can't fall asleep.

Self-soothing starts around toddlerhood, or slightly earlier. The child will begin to push you away when you try to comfort them while they are crying. It can be heartbreaking in the moment but it's actually an important first step to be able to self-regulate their emotions. You might find an older baby do this on occasion too (mine did).

As far as actually falling asleep on their own, some do it early, some need more time. It really depends on the baby. Spending time in the sleep space and consistently putting them down there for naps, even if it doesn't always take, can help, but at the end of the day babies fall somewhere on the spectrum of low and high needs, and no amount of training will turn a high needs baby into a low needs baby.

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