I need some girlies to hear me out and give me advice/opinion on this.
I currently live with my husband and his parents & brother in law. His brother in law has a daughter(6yrs old). She was an only child(her sibling is due soon). Unfortunately, her mannerism’s toward my child(boy, just turned 3yrs old) are a bit rude. When my son wants to play with her, she does not give him the time of day and when he wants to join her to play she clearly tells him “these are my toys, do not touch them.” Now my child got into the habit of “don’t touch, they’re mine” whenever she try’s to play with him and I feel bad when I have to “punish” or tell him to share because the girl continues to try and play and my child gets more frustrated and either screams “no, mine” or gets aggressive with her.
Now how do I explain or talk to my sister in law about how he became this way and to let her know to speak with her daughter about showing my son to share by letting him play with her? She goes to kinder and has other female cousins her age and she shares with them so she knows how to share, but she just chooses to leave my child isolated and ignores him.
It hurts me as a mom to see my child alone when he try’s to initiate play with his cousin and every time she comes home from school he gets so excited and try’s to hug her and she literally moves away from him and doesn’t give him the time of day🙁. Like my heart breaks. My husband works and I’m at SAHM with a 5mos old. I can’t really play with him because I gotta get stuff around the house. What are some things I can do for him?☹️
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Honestly, when it comes to things like this, I would voice my concerns to my husband about it. He’d be the one to talk to his sibling and/or parents (mother) about it even if we all get along. BUT, if I was there and I heard/seen that my son’s cousin was telling him “no” or overly rude/mean to him. I would walk over and tell/explain to his cousins you both gotta share and play nicely.
My son (5) doesn’t have cousins (on dad side) to play with as they live in another state (California) as my brother in law (husband’s brother) and the mother of his kids are no longer together. So, she moved and took the kids along with her.
My side of the family lives an hour away and everyone works and have opposite schedules, but he does see his cousins on my side of the family very often though. We’d either take the trip there and/or my oldest sister would come out to visit us and have some sister time with the kids.
Maybe try to get him to help you around the house? I have a 5 and 3 month old.

I don't think you're going to convince your sil to make her 6 year old to play with a 3 year old. It's the difference between building elaborate towers vs knocking them over. Some kids are fine with playing with younger kids, others find it frustrating. It sounds like the cousin is the latter. You might see more of this as your kids get older... What you might be able to get is for your sil and cousin to set out some toys to share and put away things that aren't for sharing in advance, rather than have to figure out each object in the moment. Ask for that. Also, get your son a story player for home (Tonies are expensive, but there are lots). That way, he can hear a story without a screen or needing you for that when you're busy with baby.