Am I the A-hole?
So my child's father has been inconsistent since birth. We split when pregnant. He went several months with no contact or seeing baby. After initially refusing, he eventually took part in mediation, and following this, he only turned up to half of the arranged meets with baby. Baby has had hospital appts due to health issues. Dad said he would attend appt. He missed a weekend visit, then no communication for 3 days. Contacted on day of appt to say he couldn't get the day off and had broken his phone, and on the weekend got given loads of work. Plausible excuses it would appear to other people (minus the fact he would have known before the day that he wasn't able to have it off - if he actually booked it off) however, I do not believe they are true, plus there are other ways of contacting me to tell me otherwise.
He had suggested going out for mothers day, which I initially agreed to. After the hospital appt I sent a message with an update informing dad baby will need surgery in a couple of years. No response, again no communication for days. Mothers day he sends a message to say happy mothers day and he will pick me up in a bit. I replied and said I was not going to go out, but appreciated the gesture. He got annoyed at me and replied he had booked the f-in table.. (I know he didn't need to put a deposit down) Am I in the wrong? I constantly feel like I'm in the wrong if I try and put a boundary in place or if I don't do something the way he wants or when he wants to.
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You are setting boundaries. His duty is to the kid not really be there for you. Keep notes what he does and doesn't do for the kid and know you have a support system from us
Thanks for your reply. That's what I don't understand, why would you want to go out for mothers day, but not check in or have anything to say after you've been told your child will need to have surgery. I will keep note. Hee's no longer responding to mediation so I assume they will just close the case. Tried to ask them for support with next steps but I guess they are reluctant to provide anything as it may come across as taking sides which they're not supposed to do.
Keep receipts of what you buy and do for your child and keep steady notes. He could try to say something different. Also keep your texts and show the correspondence because it shows you replied and such and he doesn't attempt to communicate
U already know he’s full of it so now u have gotten wiser and let that goo
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