In laws and husband problems

I have 2 kids, 3yo and 4m. My husband complains that I spend too much time with them and saying kids ruined his life and my relationship with him and wish he was single. Me and my husband had past issues with his parents mainly his mother trying to tell us how to parent, wants to always see the kids she has said pretty emotionally disturbing texts as well. Then goes crying to my husband then he comes to me saying he doesnt feel like he owns the kids ‘they are not my kids’ because he wants his side around more. Saying its unfair my side of the family is around more. Me and the kids have not seen his side for few years now. He continues to see them. His mother especially gets annoying and guilt trips alot. She texts him everyday and texts go on and on. I feel happier when we have no contact. All of this just stresses me out because since the kids or even before them I have always been the breadwinner, he has worked but is in and out of jobs paid some little things and he wants a career in filiming he made a film before got rejected with companies and is telling me that his working on one now that should make a hit but I know its not easy especially no qualifications he brings up like many people dont need experience and things like that to get there. He makes promises like we will have a good life after his filming and i wont need to work anymore. His threatening saying that i hope the kids will give you hard time in the future and i will make sure to get custody of them. He says if he cheats dont be suprised. I have only 2-3 incidents of us arguing on record because when i try to record he stops it or deletes them. We werent a really out going type people we kind of just had each other. And we argue sometimes which we resolve quite quickly because he comes first to apologise and said all the things said was out of anger. Then this repeats again. If we divorced he said he will go to my parents or tell people the type of person i am and that i am the cause of his behaviour. I love him very much and its just hard to even think of leaving we have been together for almost 10 years.

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He sounds pretty manipulative and emotionally/ verbally abusive tbh and if he’s not making you feel safe and secure (as much as it hurts) it’s time to part ways to create a better environment for yourself and the children

Who sent the text in the screenshot?

It sounds like he is emotionally abusing you.

If he wants to be single so bad, I'd honour that wish. You deserve so much better.

"He doesn't feel like he owns the kids" is a horrifying sentence. I can understand him being upset if his family isn't around. Could he take the kids to visit without you?

Is his family a danger to your kids? Why aren't they around more? How involved is your family?

those texts are form his mother, me and the kids have not been in contact with her but husband complains saying ‘my parents are nice people and they havent got a chance to see my second’ they are not a danger but i have the mindset they dont derserve to see them because of what i am going through with his son treating me like that im technically doing everything relating to the kids. He only recently contcted his parents again after a few years because they have been emotionally abusing him too and annoying things especially his mother which was almost a court case but his grandma passed and he decided drop the case. I take my kids over to mine most of the time.

Girl that man does not love or care for you. He is manipulate and abusive with his words. What exactly do you love ? A man that says he wishes he was single and kids ruined his life? A man that doesn’t put his family in place? Who says don’t be surprised if he cheats? Where you been making most of the money? What exactly will you be losing to someone so stresses you out? And continues with repeated patterns? This “man “will continue on this way with what u allow. Yes yall been together for so long but that doesn’t mean he can treat you and the kids however no excuse. A true man and husband will do everything it takes to love cherish, fix and take care of his family.. especially knowing how to talk to his wife. Girl if u don’t let this go u gonna continue being in the same cycle 10 times worse.

@Helen, they don't deserve to see their grand kids because of their son? That's awful.

The fact that they are clearly emotionally abusive is enough to limit contact, and I understand why you did. I would have done the same.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

in our community

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.