Family.

Has anyone had issues with family being distant once you had the baby, but while pregnant everyone was so excited and ready for them to be here? I feel like I give every opportunity for my family to see my daughter but when they have the chance no one shows up or they show up on their own time.

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My biological father and step mom acted like they were over the moon excited for my son to be here, yet never sent a gift or a card, never congratulated us on his arrival, and never check in on him or us. Yet they still want us to refer to them as his grandparents. Grandparents are earned titles in my opinion. Not that they have to buy their way in, but they don't even make an effort.

Im having a difficult time as well. Im a single mom by choice and everyone was so excited in the beginning but getting friends or cousins to visit is very difficult. I understand we all have our own things going on but still. It’s appreciated when they check in.

Is it possible they are to give you space to adjust? My friends kinda disappeared after I had my 3rd, and now that he's 4 mo., they are just now resurfacing. Babies have pretty weak immune systems until 3 mo, so my friends stayed away if they had even an inkling of a sniffle. My family lives on the opposite coast, so they all have different reasons for not visiting.

maybe let your friends know you miss them and schedule a coffee date?

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

Advice

Hi everyone! I honestly have 0 social queues when it comes to talking to anyone in general. I definitely have a hard time talking to other women and making new friends. I can 100% relate. I just don’t like the idea of texting or meeting up but when I do I’m like “oh this isn’t bad.” Any advice? I also have a hard time getting comfortable and just feeling judged by other women😅 I’m also 19 so maybe making a change in this now will help in the future making mom friends/friends in general. Thanks in advance!

Looking for more same age friends!!

Hi! I’m 23 and a stay at home (soon to be) mom. I have been having a tough time finding friends/women in similar circumstances to mine and would love to make some if possible! If you feel the same, let me know

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