Family issues

So I’m kinda pissed off. Actually been kinda pissed off for a while now about this situation. Maybe I can get some insight.

1) one of my brothers is an addict.

2) my other brother; he’s about 5 years younger than me. Him and I used to be super close. Up until a couple years ago he kinda just vanished up his now wife’s butt. And don’t be offended by me saying that but it’s true.
Now June 2022 I had my son. My brother was super excited and as far as I knew he couldn’t wait to be an uncle. Then once my baby was born my brother stopped caring. I did have the first grandchild so maybe that’s something. Anyways my son turned 1 year old June 2023. My brother announces to the family that him and his wife are pregnant. Which cool bro I was super excited for them. Went thru all my son’s baby stuff and I’m not kidding we donated so much to them! No thank you no nothing. So once his baby was born January 2024 he hasn’t had much contact with me. My brother doesnt know my son at all. June 2024 I invited my brother to my son’s birthday party….he didn’t show up until my mom called him and he showed up last minute with my nephew. Now I know my nephew pretty well regardless my brother not putting in any effort towards my son. This actually bothers me. I’ve went above and beyond for what I could do for them and it feels like they used me sort of. Mind you all the clothes they never used. They never dressed their child.
Now my dad and my brother are not talking or getting along right now. My brother and his wife are slobs. And no I didn’t tell them that. My dad confronted them about being so dirty. They are currently living in my grandmas home. Never cleaned it and honestly have done more damage than any good. My dad found 7 dirty diapers on the kitchen floor. Mind you; anyone would be pissed that’s gross asf.
Anyways yeah his wife never takes showers or uses soap or deodorant so her having that odor is really gross.

With all this said; I’ve lost both of my brothers. Even though I’ve never spoken how I felt; anytime I talk to my brother it seems like he has a chip on his shoulder. I’m not sure what I can do, or if I should try making it better. Any ideas are welcomed.

in our community

Is this normal?

Is it just my husband that does this? He is able to work from home via his computer and in the mornings and evenings he is on there doing his job. When he is done for the day he tends to stay in the room and either play video games or watch something. He will occasionally come out and play with the girls for a few minutes and that’s it but when I really need him he says he is busy. My daughters are both 1 year old now and I am just wondering how much involvement should he have with them now?
Idk if this is the norm or not…..

Saying NO to buying toys etc

5 year old is getting really envious of others. He is obsessed with items that other kids have at school. I am pestered daily to buy these things in a different style when we already have 3 others. I have seen parents just buying stuff their kid likes which I don't necessarily agree with even when i can afford it. How do you deal with it?

Thoughts?

your soon to be brother in law (upon inquiry) told you that only a few kids from the family were attending his wedding because they are over the age cut off..

Tablet for kids

Alright don’t need any negative Nancy’s telling me not to get my 2yo a tablet so if that’s what your gunna do please don’t participate in my poll.

We’re about to move cross country 3+ day trip and my 2yo and 9m hate the car I’m talking scream their heads off till they are out of their seats. We’ve already changed car seats and it didn’t help so I’d like to at least have one entertained and sit next to baby and try and distract her or put her to sleep. Our new car has tvs but since they are rear faced my 2yo can’t see it.

Debating getting her a tablet or dvd player right now on long car rides I end up giving her my phone because I get so overwhelmed sitting in between both of them screaming and crying.

And yes I do bring different toys I bring snacks I play songs try to distract her other ways but for the sake of not losing my mind on this move I think this is best.

-A very overwhelmed and anxious to move mama 😓

Daycare?

Thoughts on daycare?? Truly, I am SCARED to be leaving my kid for daycare. I literally do not trust anyone, not even family (they haven’t given me a reason it’s just trust issues on my end, you never know). He’s turning 3 and I’ve been a sahm the whole time but tbh my man doesn’t make enough for us to move out somewhere more calm . We live in a ‘not so safe’ area in LA and I’m just not used to living here so I just want us to give my son a better life and in order to speed up the process I would have to work.. I do lashes at home and I’d be open to take new clients so I wouldn’t have to look for work but I’m just scared to lose my license 😭

Struggling

My husband works and does so much for me and my baby girl. However I get annoyed every time he hops on a video game he usually plays for 1-2 hrs if she's still awake and has like 3+hrs of free time once she goes to sleep (i co/contact sleep). The last time I was able to have actual free time was last month when I tried to turn some onesies into shirts for baby girl to sleep in- and I wasn't able to finish them and haven't picked them up since lol. The only free time I get is while she's napping right next to me where I can't move an inch or breathe too deeply or she'll wake up, or when I shower. Crafting used to be my outlet and now if I were ever to tell him that I need to craft I don't even know what I would do or where to start I just sit there and stare.... just losing myself and I'm struggling with it. Does anyone else feel the same way? What do I do?