Stay at home moms deserve a salary from their husband

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/12DtNEUBrSM/?mibextid=wwXIfr

As a SAHM you should have equal access to the money and unless you have a spending problem your husband shouldn’t have an issue with you spending money. If your husband has a problem with you spending money or doesn’t give you access to money you have a marriage problem. And I would think twice about being a SAHM.

💯!!!

I don’t get a salary, I get equal access to his income. I’d find a salary insulting tbqh

I don’t get a salary nor would I want one. That’s pretty sad if that’s what it comes to IMO. I have equal access to everything and communicate any frivolous spending (which he does too).

I don't think salary is the right framing but you should have equal access to the family money.

I also think it's ideal if each partner has their own certain amount of spending money (same for each) to spend or save as they choose.

I’m a stay at home mom and his money is our money because we both talk about what to spend it on and communicate and both understand that we both deserve treats and gifts if we can afford it <3

This is how we do it - I work full time and he’s a stay at home parent.

My wage pays all the bills. Whatever is left is then split directly between us and I send that to his account. My partner has an issue with gambling and is a big spender so he doesn’t get full access to my wage in a joint account. But what is left is split equally so it’s fair and he can spend this on whatever he wants, if he wastes all his money in 2 weeks then he goes 2 weeks without unless it’s something for our son as that’s not my fault he can’t budget appropriately.

agreed. Salary seems off to me but free access to family money is a must.

yes you’ve nailed it.

If I'm staying at home to watch our child ,we should aleast be able to go out and get the stuff we need for the week

A salary? Or your husband just pays for everything? Surely it’s swings and roundabouts?!

No, because its not a job!

no sick days, no pension, no holidays!

@Amy it's a privilege and a responsibility, it is not the same as an actual job at all

“Deserve” a salary from who? Cuz who are we reporting too? Who exactly do we “work” for lol “Baby Corp Inc.” what company is responsible for giving us these “salaries” our Husbands? lol and not every stay at home home MOM is a “wife”
Therefore there is no “Husband” some ppl are mothering with partners, wives, fiancées etc. so I don’t understand how this system would work.

I get an allowance in a sense but I wouldn’t call it a salary tbh but his money is my money

or access to the bank account/shared. don’t be a dummy

Deserve??? Of course. All of this labor would be paid otherwise if she wasn't doing it. Its free labor otherwise

I disagree and feel that all money should be shared. SAHM should have access and transparency with partners salary.

Would my “allowance” count as a salary? Feels like it would count.

I get $1500 a month for my car payment and the 2 bills I have, and have a credit card I’m allowed to use for whatever whenever.
I am involved in our financial planner meetings and can voice ideas and wants as well.

yes and no ... except you never "clock out" we are always needed ...it's a full time job ..I can agree with most things I have seen you say but this one ,I don't know 😂 ...like it's our job as parents to take care of them ..yeah sure we are lucky that we are able to do that ...but some of us kindia have to...as some us have to be stay at home parents as some of us cannot afford day care , because in some places it could be up to £100 a day

I also feel this way as a full time working mum, if I’m not working I’m being mum, I don’t get to clock off either x

@Holly no, it's not a job. I have a job that requires me in the office for 30hrs a week, with set times I need to be there, set break times and I get PAID for what I do. I have a boss, I have KPIs, as well as maintaining my professionalism at all times! That is in no way the same as being at home with my kids, it's not even close! I chose to have kids, it is my responsibility, my duty.

so is being a stay at home mum ,I also have set times and hours to do this ,it's called a routine... routine is apart of it ...my boss is my toddler...being a stay at home mum is my duty and my job as a mum too ... everyone has something to work for ...and I work literally for my child to make sure shes happy ...my partner works full time 5/6 days a week ...he knows your world and trust me he knows your stress ,but he also knows my role as a mum is also important and we both give eachother breaks if we need to ...as one of us don't actually get to eat or have a drink in peace ,or even be able to have a toilet break ,if you know the best of both worlds you know both sides are hard

@Holly I have been both a full time SAHM and a FT working mum, I KNOW the difference, you clearly don't. At home now on maternity leave I can do things at my own pace, I'm not bound by timings at all, nor does it matter if I don't clean my bathroom by 5pm, however when I'm at work I have a job to do, I'm paid to make sure it is ALL done by 5pm, there is no carrying over into tomorrow what doesn't get done. I also then come home and be a parent, oh and clean my house! You can keep telling yourself it's a "job" if that helps you feel empowered and to get through your day, but the reality is I do your "job" as well as an actual paid job

Plus, I'm 40, so alot older than you, and I've been doing this mum thing a LONG time, longer than you have been out of nappies to be frank

Ouch, helps us feel empowered?
I feel like that was a bit uncalled for but maybe that’s just me being sensitive. like cool, glad you’re super women/mom but you don’t need to crap on everyone else, so you feel empowered

@Alexis not saying it to feel empowered, pushing a 9lb 9oz baby out of me did that! I'm just sick of kids barely out of nappies thinking a routine at home with a toddler is the same as a professional job, it's ridiculous 🤣🤣. I sat at home watching Jurassic Park yesterday eating cookies and drinking tea,that's definitely not something I do at work 🤣🤣🤣

well how about this, I’m 9 years younger than you. I was previously a full time accountant, a whole career. Now I’m SAH & Sure, I don’t have to have to have any reconciles completed and can binge watch a TV show, but I still take care of a child 24/7? Does that make me undeserving of having any money to spend?

I read in the news recently that motherhood is equivalent to having 2.5X a full time job !!!! (98 hours of work a week to be exact)

It’s 100% a job. I actually find my full time job easier than being a SAHM and I work with severely mentally unwell patients.

Kudos to all the SAHM. I wouldn’t expect a salary though, that makes it feel icky. I would expect access to the joint account.

@Alexis my point wasn't about whether you "deserve" money to spend, it was about whether it's a job, which it isn't. If you are choosing to completely give up a good career then that's your loss, but being a SAHM is still not a job.

@Amy if you're not being paid that's because its not a job. I have wage slips, that's what makes a job a job.

well, alright then. I guess the way you went about saying your point just kind of felt like to me that you were shitting on people who choose to be a SAH parent. Just like how you choose to say “completely give up a good career” instead of just saying left your career. Like you’re implying I failed or something because I want to be home with my child and am capable of it 🤷🏼‍♀️
but again, being sensitive. I was commenting on the OP, not this tangent about it being considered a job specifically. My apologies.

@Rebecca this mentally you have is bullshit. It's bullshit. That's all im going to say. Your a bitch and your shitting on stay at home mom's. Idc how many hours you work, doesn't give you the right to dismissed stay at home mom's. There, JOB is to stay at home and keep they house running smoothly. Stop shitting on them. Just because you work doesn't make you better.

I also work 40 hours a week, and I was in school full time. Had a 2 and 3 year old. You're not special so stop acting like. And stop shitting on mom's whob stay home. Because as a working mom, our break is going to work. Stay at home moms work 24/7 with zero days off. Now you done piss me the hell off.

Being a stay at home mom is way more mentally taxing and physically taxing on a women's body than working an office job. You fail to understand that.

I know I've done both and will never be a stay at home mom again

if baby sitting and nannying is a job then so is raising a child full time. I recon it’s actually harder than a lot of jobs bc 24/7 no breaks.

do you think us women are slow? or are you dense asf? like i’m trying to figure out where I can study and get a professional job as a sahm. 😒 it’s clearly not professional, like tf? what i’m sure op is stating is that if there is no childcare in play, no nanny no daycare but you step up as the nanny/parent it would only make sense to receive some sort of stipend for doing so. is that so hard to piece togetherrrrr orrrr

okay do you want a medal 🥇? Good for you ,both are jobs im not saying anymore because you not exactly acting mature for your age right now ... Rebecca...and everything you just described me and my partner do lol ...we know both worlds just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing ...but thanks anyways I suppose? 😆🙄My partner is only a couple of years younger than you btw 🤣.so whole thing "I have been doing this longer" is very outdated and I have been told that so many times by people around me ,it's crazy ,having a toddler feels like a full time job lol especially while pregnant,we are into our 3rd pregnancy and it definitely is not a breeze everyday ,it's feels like I'm on shift day and night ...your kids are not the same as mine ,they wake up at different times to yours ,they have a completely different routine to yours ...a stay at home mum who does this 24/7 even on weekends sometimes as my partner works hard ..don't even go there lol 😂

I also get paid the same amount as a part time job lol 😂 about 1k a month,my partner earns 2k from his job .....so we are comfortable with money I'm going to continue being a stay at home parent....you can definitely get paid for being a stay at home mum here in the UK ...I didn't give up any career ...either did my partner...no one's at loss here 🤨

@Alexis why would I slate on SAHMs when I've been one? My point was it is NOT a job. I never seen it as a job when I was at home, it was a privilege for me to be able to do so, a choice that I made. Having a routine with a toddler at home can no way be compared to deadlines and KPIs at work, that's just stupid.

@Ayanna all parenting is 24/7, whether you work or not! Just because you work all day doesn't mean you clock off at 5pm, however I clock off from having to pls my boss at 5pm, I can then do as I please!

nope, nanny's and babysitters are paid, that's a job. They also can't just do things as they please during their day, like I absolutely can now!

@Tiana you sound so thick and you're illiterate, I highly suggest you DO study

@Carol💗💙 laughable 😅. I was a SAHM for 5 years, I absolutely wasn't slating them at all. I was simply saying its NOT a job! Being a mum is a choice and a responsibility, being at home is simply fulfilling your parental responsibility!

I vividly remember being at girl guides when I was about 9 years old, we all had to go round saying what our mums did for a job, it got round to one girl and she said ‘my mum cooks, cleans and looks after the house’ and I remember being so confused because my mum did that too but also had a job. No one is saying being a SAHM isn’t hard work but to compare it to an actual job makes you look a bit silly.

my point exactly

ah yes, the choice between eating and starving with no roof over my head is a difficult one for sure

@Amy don't make yourself look thick, it's not a good look

silly? 🤨 because it is an actual job tho 😂one that you sacrificed more for than a job you get paid for. ....yes it's hard work ...but so is both sides and I would of never be confused by that ,I would of respected that ,just like if she had a standard job that was being paid for ... ...when you a stay at home mum you get work to do all the time ...it never stops and some don't get much or any money as well ...its a massive role I don't think SAHP get the recognition for what they do ...being a sole parent to stay at home means that child it's always seen and are constantly watched 24/7 ...so people think it's only a job when you pay someone do it lol ,okay shall we just call ourselves volunteers at this point? Instead of parents

I'm a SAHM and my husband is in the army so he is away a lot. I don't get a salary but I get money in my account for bills and food. I am able to spend as and when I want or need and I can have access to his card or he will send me more if I need it. I don't know if it can be classed as a salary but should be able to have access to the family money. Any money we both have spare at the end of the month goes into savings.