Siblings showering together

My very soon to be 5yo still showers with dad (by child’s choice). He has suddenly started wanting to shower with his 14yo brother.

I’m struggling with thinking this is appropriate mostly because the 14yo is a little immature. When he showers with dad it’s a teaching moment for how to properly clean your body. They get in, do what they need to and get out. I worry my 14yo will do something inappropriate (out of being immature or silly, not trying to harm my 5yo) and since I can’t keep my eye on them (for my 14yos privacy) I just have been saying no.

Of course they went to grandmas last night and showered together 🫠 I don’t think any harm was done but now I’m wondering what is truly appropriate. I know lots of different cultures feel differently about this so I’m genuinely curious what other moms think.

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I’m sorry, I think it’s all inappropriate. After a certain age a child shouldn’t be showering with anyone.

I asked my husband who has a brother 9/10 years younger than him and he said absolutely not. He and his brother have always been very close but he still said they never would have showered together.
To put it bluntly he said “that’s just weird.” Just one persons opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️
Your 14 year old is going through puberty and needs privacy in the bathroom.
It also sounds like you already have your answer. If your mama instincts are telling you it’s not appropriate then they don’t need to be showering together.

that’s what I was thinking too about him having gone through puberty but so has my husband so I kept thinking what’s the difference. I guess it just comes down to my husband is his father and my 14yo is his sibling, not a parental figure.

Yeah I don’t think so. Offer an alternative like: if you want to play in the water with your brother, then we can get our swimsuits on and go to the pool or play outside with the hose and sprinklers! My brother and I have a 10 year age gap and he’d want to be In the shower with me too because he wanted to play with his bath toys with me, so I went in my bathing suit since it felt weird for me to be naked in front of anyone, especially my brother. It was different for him though he was a little kid who didn’t really have a concept of that and we played with the bathroom door open and I’d help him with his hair (since it was always very long and curly)

Unnecessary

we have a pool so idk what the fascination is with showering. He just loves his brother so much he wants to do whatever he is doing at all times but I have to draw the line somewhere. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your brother if he wanted to be with you 🥰

And your husband isn’t currently going through puberty and potentially self conscious about or “exploring” his changing body. Most teenagers would not want another kid in the shower with them, they would be wanting privacy!

exactly what I’ve been feeling but couldn’t put into words. Thank you 🙏🏼

I would say showering is something that is only done with the same gendered parent if the child is too young to do it by themselves.

I think this is a good time to introduce privacy

Yeah haha I kinda got turned into a second mom for him. He comes to me for everything lol. I fed him, watched him, changed his diapers as a baby man the whole 9 yards. He was my first baby for real 💔

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