Does anyone else feel this kind of guilt?
I’m going back to work in a couple of weeks—just two days a week—and my 8½-month-old has started her settling-in sessions at nursery. Yesterday was her second one, and it honestly broke my heart.
She’s breastfed but will take expressed milk from a bottle (as long as it’s not from me). When I picked her up, she was absolutely screaming—she’d clearly been crying for a while. Her hair was damp with tears, her eyes were red, and she was so upset. She’d refused her bottle, even though the staff member trying to feed her was a breastfeeding mam herself, and she’d just woken up from a nap too.
She’ll only be going once a week, as my mother-in-law will have her on the other day I’m working. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being cruel… I just don’t know if she’s going to settle. Once she gets really worked up, she’ll only calm down with someone she knows, and it took me a good 10 minutes to soothe her after I picked her up.
My mother-in-law has offered to have her both days, and I’ve said I’ll consider it if she doesn’t settle at nursery after a month—especially since my little one absolutely loves being with her.
But I keep questioning myself… am I making the right decision sending her to nursery at all? 🤍
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I would opt for mother in law two days over nursery one day. Many nurseries will not enrol a child for one day a week as it’s not enough/too long between sessions for them to settle. Or I would return to work 3 days and use 2 days nursery and 1 day grandparent - this is what I did until recently and it was a good combination. Good luck with whatever you decide x
I agree with Alice. One day at nursey isn't enough time for her to settle and adjust. I would just let your MIL look after her both days and don't worry about nursery ❤️
My LG goes in 3 days a week. About 6 weeks before she was going to do 3 days, I asked if she could go in 1 day a week so she could used to it. It didnt work - she only started settling there when she had 3 days a week because she could get used to the routine. It took aaaaaages for mine to get used to nursery and even 6 months later she still cries at drop off but shes a home girlie really. If you can do 2 days MIL then I would but also maybe try nursery 2 days because if your MIL is sick or wants a break, you'll have to be off work whereas at nursery there's always staff. Good luck though, its so not fun to start but you'll both get used to it x
Oh also the first time my LG ever settled (it honestly took weeks) was when I packed these teletubby figures that she was obsessed with. They became her comfort items so might be worth finding something like that? X
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