Can’t afford child care and can’t afford not to work

Hi all,

It’s embarrassing to post this but I don’t think I can afford to put my child in nursery. It’s so expensive and I’m barely paying rent.

How do you all deal with this until they start school?

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Are you UK based?

Are you entitled to UC?
Do you qualify for the funded hours- how old is your child?
Have you taken into account tax free childcare?
Do you have someone else who could watch your child whilst you work?
If you have a partner, could you work opposite shifts which could reduce the need for as much childcare?
Have you looked into childminders? As they’re usually cheaper than nurseries.

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If you are based in Ontario you can find a subsidized daycare and apply for additional benefits to help pay for it.

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yes based in UK but don’t qualify for UC as I earn just above the threshold. Baby is 4 months at the moment and planning to return to work after he turns 9 months.

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Try a childminder, they are cheaper

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September 2025, they are rolling out 30 funded hours for 9 months and above - many nurseries may stretch funding to accommodate for half terms which means u will only get 22 hours per week.

Have u looked into tax free childcare?

Go onto the childcare choices website! 😊

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I had to work to get the funding - seems so backward but helps

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You will be eligible for the 15, soon 30 hours, plus tax free childcare (although note it is capped).

You can give your wage to Chat GPT, and estimate of childcare costs, and ask it what options you have and what’s best - eg. Full time work, part time, give up work and get benefits.

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Do you have any family members you ask to help out a-bit

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I feel you, don't be embarassed. It is honestly a joke.

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Working parents are entitled to 15 or 30 hours of funded nursery time xx

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I agree with . You could even give childcare support a call and see what you could be entitled too x

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I work two days in the office full time (put her in nursery these days) and get 10 hours funded a week along with tax free childcare. I then work from home 3 days a week, WITH my toddler at home (finish at 230 so not such a long day) with me and honestly, if I didn’t do that, I couldn’t afford it either.

I have worked at my company for almost 10 years though and know the job inside out and I’m used to working with her there now, although it is tough sometimes. It is what it is, otherwise she’ll be in nursery full time where I don’t get to see her and also not be able to afford it anyway.

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Why don’t you become a childminder? I had the same issue and now incan be with my girl all the time whilst getting paid

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Hey lovely, if you’re in the UK look into funded hours for working parents. They cover 30 hours from September and you can also get it tax free (save £2000) per year on top.

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The funded hours and government 20% top up help. That halves our nursery bill.

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Is this normal?

Is it just my husband that does this? He is able to work from home via his computer and in the mornings and evenings he is on there doing his job. When he is done for the day he tends to stay in the room and either play video games or watch something. He will occasionally come out and play with the girls for a few minutes and that’s it but when I really need him he says he is busy. My daughters are both 1 year old now and I am just wondering how much involvement should he have with them now?
Idk if this is the norm or not…..

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14

Saying NO to buying toys etc

5 year old is getting really envious of others. He is obsessed with items that other kids have at school. I am pestered daily to buy these things in a different style when we already have 3 others. I have seen parents just buying stuff their kid likes which I don't necessarily agree with even when i can afford it. How do you deal with it?

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10

Identity crisis?

Am I the only sahm who feels like they have lost their identity??? I don’t make money for my family, when I used to make great money. But I refuse to drop my under a year old baby off with strangers.
My husband works so much. But I have no control over bringing in money and I’m a control freak type of person! I feel l like I’m losing my grip because we are kind of broke, but day care would only eat up my income anyways! So what’s the point. I’m a workaholic and now I’m just a twitching bum.
I wish I could work from home but so far that’s a fake dream. I’m almost 9 months pp, and I just need to know these awful mood swings and depression will end soon! Send wine!

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19

Daycare?

Thoughts on daycare?? Truly, I am SCARED to be leaving my kid for daycare. I literally do not trust anyone, not even family (they haven’t given me a reason it’s just trust issues on my end, you never know). He’s turning 3 and I’ve been a sahm the whole time but tbh my man doesn’t make enough for us to move out somewhere more calm . We live in a ‘not so safe’ area in LA and I’m just not used to living here so I just want us to give my son a better life and in order to speed up the process I would have to work.. I do lashes at home and I’d be open to take new clients so I wouldn’t have to look for work but I’m just scared to lose my license 😭

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2

6

Thoughts?

your soon to be brother in law (upon inquiry) told you that only a few kids from the family were attending his wedding because they are over the age cut off..

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8

Tablet for kids

Alright don’t need any negative Nancy’s telling me not to get my 2yo a tablet so if that’s what your gunna do please don’t participate in my poll.

We’re about to move cross country 3+ day trip and my 2yo and 9m hate the car I’m talking scream their heads off till they are out of their seats. We’ve already changed car seats and it didn’t help so I’d like to at least have one entertained and sit next to baby and try and distract her or put her to sleep. Our new car has tvs but since they are rear faced my 2yo can’t see it.

Debating getting her a tablet or dvd player right now on long car rides I end up giving her my phone because I get so overwhelmed sitting in between both of them screaming and crying.

And yes I do bring different toys I bring snacks I play songs try to distract her other ways but for the sake of not losing my mind on this move I think this is best.

-A very overwhelmed and anxious to move mama 😓

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17

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