What am I staying for? Should I leave?

My baby is almost 8 months old and I’m 18 weeks pregnant with number 2.. however my babies dad isn’t who I thought he was. Before I had my first baby I couldn’t fault him. The minute he was born, different man. All of a sudden I should be “fulfilling my gender role” he expects me to basically be a housewife, but also pay all of the bills. The only thing he pays is the rent. He has his own business that runs itself so he doesn’t even work. He finds things to do each day, all of which don’t include helping me in any way and barely spends time with the baby.
- Our first Christmas as a three he told me to spend it with my parents and didn’t come
- My first Valentine’s Day postpartum he started the day by calling me a dickhead and telling me how unattractive I am
- On my birthday he gave my mum money to go out and buy me something I would like and made almost zero effort, barely spoke to me all day into the evening when my parents came over (he then took me and my family out for a meal afterwards to keep up appearances)
- My first Mother’s Day he said “fuck all that” and I had zero acknowledgment that it was my first Mother’s Day, he went out and celebrated Eid and he isn’t even Muslim (but has muslim friends)
- I am grieving the loss of two family members since having my baby and if I get upset about it he says I’m annoying or will say “what’s up now” and if I tried to talk he wouldn’t listen anyway.
- We don’t communicate daily, he sits and scrolls on his phone all day.
There’s so much more, I clean up after him and his two dogs and even help with his business if he ever needs it. But I get FUCK ALL. No help with the baby, no conversation.. last time I tried to tell him how I felt about all of this he moved into the babies nursery and so now he can’t go in there because there’s no room. The baby is still in the room with me while I have a legit countdown to when the next baby is here and his dad doesn’t care..

What the fuck do I do here.. what would you do? I hate any minute of the day that involves his presence.

in our community

Long trip?

Hey , we’re going on holiday to the coast 3.5 hrs away in a couple months and my 2 year old is toilet trained but wears pull ups at nap and bed time. Sometimes she will do a little dribble in her pants on her way to the loo but generally she does well
My concern is the road trip, do I put her in a pull ups at or hope that she can hold out till we stop?
It’s going to be tricky washing and drying the car seat on holiday so I’m wondering what other people do, I’m worried the pull up for the car might confuse her!

Just thought this was funny

Def me every morning dropping my daughters off at school

How would you interpret the phrase “at times, it appears they are working together in ways that are unsafe for others.”

In reference to a set of 4.5 year old twins, in an email from their teachers (the first time they’ve reached out about any type of physical incident with another child).

Do you think the teachers mean the twins are teaming up to intentionally be “unsafe” to others?

First Time (Girl) Mom Questions

Hi, couple of questions. Due on Monday and couldn’t find any good information so I figured I’d ask those with experience. I have a couple of questions.

1. I heard wiping the lower belly to make your baby pee before you change their diaper works really well for not getting peed on for boys- I was wondering if it’s the same for girls and if it’s as much as an issue for girls? Would like to avoid getting peed on lol.

2. When you do change your lil girl, I know you wipe front to back and there is a limit on how much pressure you should put- would anyone be able to give me a good example of how much pressure should be used? I asked a nurse and they basically said however much it takes to get clean, but I’m not up for accidentally hurting my kiddo if I can help it lol

3. Is there any advice I can get from experienced moms in general? I want to pull all of the knowledge I can so I can do the best I can.

Thank you!

Health visitors

I’m 11 months PP can HV help with relationship issues and in-laws?! I’m at a loss of what I can do as my relationship is breaking down due to in-laws

Toys at grandparents home

Just wondering if Im being weird about this?
My MIL lives about 15 mins away I take our daughter there quite a bit, she has nothing kid friendly at her house so I asked her to get a couple toys that can live there so I dont have to bring toys every time we go over...she said yeah yeah and thats shes ordered some stuff on amazon. Turns out what she ordered was just table corner protectors, no toys or anything. So I asked again and she said that our baby doesnt need toys, she will just find things about the house to occupy herself like the tv remote.
I get it but at the same time if I thought like that then my child would be playing with wires, keys, my phone, batteries ect and not baby friendly things at my home so it doesnt make sense to me? She needs age appropriate toys. I take her there at least once a week, sometimes more... so its a lot for me to take everythint all the time, I bring the baby, all her nappies, spare clothes ect plus toys, things for her to eat ect. All im asking for are a fee toys that live at their house.
I know I could leave my own toys there but she complained about me 'not letting her be grandma' when our daughter was first born because I wanted to recover at home for a week and when we did visit I wanted to hold my baby more than she expected. So now Im like.... you wanted to be grandma, im asking you to help me out as grandma and buy your granddaughter a couple of toys for your house and you wont do it?
Ive ended up leaving a walker and a couple toys there and a couple spoons and a bowl . She has the walker behind the sofa and doesn't get it out when we do go round or anything Ive left. So I feel like I have to still bring toys there.
My dad lives 2 hours away, we've gone to visit 3 times since our daughter was born and hes bought toys and a high chair for her and bowls and spoons for her and I didnt even ask him to.
So me asking grandma who lives 15 mins away to buy a couple toys to make things easier for me and she wont doesnt sit right with me at all? Am I wrong. I
And I do bring toys from our house to grandma's everytime we go but theyre toys my daughter likes the most that week so im not going to leave them there. I left a couple bits but what Im asking is for her to get some as well so lighten my load.