I'm so anxious opening and replying to messages

Apart from 1 or 2 people, I get so anxious when somebody messages me and I feel like hiding from my phone and really don't want to look. Then after avoiding it for ages, I put off replying and then really overthink the response and take ages drafting a message, it's really problematic because it makes conversations really difficult as there's no flow and people must get annoyed that I never reply! It feels like I'm always in trouble or being judged or misunderstood.

I know this is really weird, I just don't know what to do about it. Has anyone else ever felt this way, and have you been able to overcome it? I can't even pinpoint when it started.

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This is me šŸ˜†

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Same šŸ˜… I’ve gone back about a week later and am like oh oops

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I’m exactly the same. I’ve nearly lost friends over it šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø Haven’t yet mastered how to overcome it though.

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Your not on your own

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I am the same....did it started with you since you had your child / children ?

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If you want to start making a change, start by writing out a response without sending it. Pay attention to how you feel. What are you worried about? What's the worst that will happen if you send this message? What are you avoiding? Through this reflection, you may be able to identify an irrational belief or thought. For example, your opinion is not valid, or you will be expected to commit to something you can't say no to, etc. Challenge that thought with questions like, "What is the evidence for and against this belief?" Or "Is this an assumption or is this true?"

If this wasn't clear or you want to get more information on how to do this, look up socratic questioning as used in CBT. We often run on irrational thoughts/beliefs that trigger behaviors that end up hurting us in the long run.

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I do this too. I'm not sure if it's because of a need to say the perfect thing in as little words as possible or something. If my head is too busy/child is around, I'm not gonna focus on the response properly anyway so I wait.
But hey, it's messages, not free flowing in-real-life conversation, and if people aren't in front of you demanding an answer then they'll get it when they get it LOL.
I too have annoyed people with replying days later but other people I do it with and they do it back too and it's good cause its unconditional and patient. Literally we respond like a month after the other has lol.
I wouldn't fret about it too much, those that matter won't mind and all that x

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I have a friend that only sends me voice messages/voice texts but her reason is she cbf typing it out lol it’s too long. Would that be a better solution for you? People can’t misjudge the msg or tone- it’s all there. And honestly makes my life easier by listening to her venting in voice as well. And I wanna hear my friends’ voices too just in general helps me be not lonely. Even if I’m driving and I need to msg someone I just send it in voice

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Hey, you’re not weird, this is pretty common when you don’t have the energy to give socially.

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Same. I don't know how to fix it. I just wait all day worrying about it and thinking about something good to say.

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This is so me. Especially now that I have a baby, even if I’m doing nothing I just rather ignore the messsge. Feel like I’m in my own bubble and I hate it sometimes.

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Thank you so much to all your responses, I'm so surprised to see so many of you in the same boat and it's kind of comforting to know I'm not alone. Even this post I hesitated coming back to šŸ™ˆ
Some really helpful suggestions too and I appreciate this so much, I'm going to make a commitment to try and work on it because life would be so much easier and happier if I can get past this!

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