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Autism Parent Support Group

“I need some advice — I think my 3-year-old might be high masking autistic, and I’m feeling really overwhelmed.

His behaviour has changed a lot recently and I’m struggling, especially as I’m mostly solo parenting and also have a 1-year-old.

He has multiple meltdowns a day, often starting the moment he wakes up. He insists on being carried — if I don’t carry him down the stairs or from the car to the house, he’ll have a full meltdown. Meanwhile, my 1-year-old is more independent.

He’s very physical with his younger sibling — pushing, hitting, even when I give them the exact same toy, he wants both.
He always wants to eat on the sofa instead of at the table, and he freaks out if his food touches on the plate.

If he puts a toy somewhere and it gets moved, even once he finds it, he has to put it back in the exact same spot before playing again. He lines up toys, and screams or sings loudly when we’re out, which draws a lot of attention.
At nursery, he comes across as social and hit all his milestones, so no concerns have been raised — but I feel like people aren’t seeing what I see at home.

He doesn’t seem to pick up social cues — at the park, he ran after some kids to play but they kept running away and one even threw something at him. He didn’t understand and kept trying, and I had to pull him away.

He gets extremely distressed if he’s asked to do something like draw a straight line. He’ll say “I can’t do it” and melt down.
He’ll also act like a dinosaur or monster to get attention. He’s very sensitive, and I think he has a lot of anxiety.

One of the biggest red flags for me is that he has been pulling my hair since he was 1. It gives him comfort. Now he even wakes up in the night to pull strands of it out. I mentioned it to the health visitor back then but was told he’d grow out of it — it’s only gotten worse.

There’s so much more, but I guess I’m just wondering… am I wrong to think this could be autism or even ADHD? I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells, and I don’t know what’s “normal toddler” behaviour anymore.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?”