How to deal with a judgemental mum?

Lovely it might be hard to read or receive but at the end of the day it’s about protecting your mental health, if that was me I’d tell my mum how she makes me feel first if she wasn’t taking it in and still continuing I’d just distance myself and my child away from her because she’s not respecting your feelings and boundaries. Alternatively you could just distance yourself without talking it out and when she reaches out you let her know how you feel and if it continues she can forget a relationship with you or anything that involves you. My mum was very very critical of me for years specifically on my weight throughout my whole childhood, developed eating disorders because of it, felt a constant need for approval and validation from her when I did things it was just toxic until i snapped and distance myself years on now and we are practically best friends

Omg I definitely wouldn’t say 25 was too young, it’s much better than being 16 and pregnant!
What’s wrong with having a smaller house? What matters is that it’s a safe and clean environment for baby to live. 18 months definitely isn’t too young, I wish mine went to nursery a bit earlier than what he did but he started when he was 23 months, he loves it and am sure he would of done at your little one’s age.
I think she needs to respect your choices as a Mam and yes she’s there for advice but go with what you and your partner thinks is best not your Mam. You’re definitely not a shit Mam.
Hope this helps x

the things you’ve said about your mum are the same for me. I remember being put on a diet at 12 years old because she decided I was too big. And even now I still have a horrible relationship with food that my partner is helping me fix because I don’t want to pass it down another generation x

thank you 🥰. I think it’s just hard because of course I love her, she’s my mum. She’s very good at the whole “we will support you no matter what” in front of people but very critical when she thinks no one else is there x

Also it’s important to mention that you don’t want your child seeing or hearing you be judged and criticised the way you are by a loved one because he or she may remember that and it may affect how they treat you or others or even themselves your child’s growth and life is your priority and you can’t have someone jeopardising your mental health because it may start to show and your child will see it and sense it you should always try to be the best version of yourself for your kids and if someone’s affecting that you may need space, I’m sure your mum loves you a lot but but she needs to know her words affect how you feel. It’s not fair to you or your child.

No problem and I know what you mean. It’s a bit like my MIL doesn’t respect my boundaries half of the time 🤦🏼‍♀️ x

I wish my mother in law was my mum. She’s amazing 🥰 x

she’s not very good at hearing criticism and takes it as a person attack and that I hate her and she’s was an awful mum.
The other issue I don’t want to distance myself from my dad x

Aw I see, mine is great with our little one but sometimes I think she forgets I am the Mam and not her x

I distance myself from my mum. She hosts family catch-up in her house so when I go there I look busy and avoid her by talking to everyone else that’s there. I see her, I don’t talk to her coz she’s exact the same as your mum. So don’t cut her off, but don’t make effort to see or talk to her either she’s just, there.

Awww gosh I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that, that is absolutely not okay, you definitely need to protect your peace otherwise it’s going to continue to affect you i know in your other comment you mentioned she isn’t good at taking criticism and that you don’t want to lose out on speaking with your dad but perhaps maybe you tell your dad how you feel so he can speak to your mum if you and him are close like that or alternatively you can just meet with your dad at yours or somewhere in the middle where your mum is not involved after telling her yourself how she makes you feel? I’m trying to think of what options would help without you losing contact with your dad but I do think your mum needs to be made aware the trauma and pain she’s caused you like I said it really isn’t fair to
you at all xx