AITA for not telling my mom we were headed to hospital?

I am now 40 weeks pregnant and last night I had a couple hours of very intense and aggressive movements from my baby. It was causing a lot of pain and I was struggling to stand up or do anything other than be on all fours on my bedroom floor. I called the midwife and they suggested to come in just to check babies heart rate. I knew it wasn’t contractions, and I suspected baby was fine, but the pain made me think it was worth just getting checked out.

We decided to go in at about midnight. Now my mom and my in laws live with us (complicated situation), and my in laws were awake at the time. So we quickly handed off the monitor for our first child over to them and headed out the door. We assumed my mother was already asleep.

When we got back from triage my mother was at the door waiting for us looking pretty fuming, and the first thing she said was “Why didn’t you tell me you were going in”.

Now I feel like this isn’t about her, and she shouldn’t be making it about her. Our priorities were to hand over the monitor for our first child and head in to the hospital. But maybe we should have woken her? What do you think?

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Does she not trust the in laws to watch your child on the monitor? But yeah she’s being dramatic. I get that it’s out of concern and honestly my mom would probably be the same way but it can be a bit much. Hopefully she cools off knowing you guys are okay.

She didn't need to be woken if there were other responsible adults in the house. Her priority should be making sure you are ok when you got home, like you I would of just wanted to get in as quick as possible and not be fussing over waking people up etc xx

So in a medical emergency where you are in a lot of pain you have to stop and wake your mum up??
She’s probably not even upset you didn’t tell her. It’s probably more to do with the in-laws knew first.

So selfish of her to put her upset above everything else, let her be upset about it, you've done nothing wrong

I completely understand where you’re coming from but i also get where she’s coming from too although how she dealt with the situation a bit dramatic. I personally would’ve just given her a text saying that you’re heading to the hospital for a check up if I thought she was asleep

What is the arrangement for while you are giving birth? Is she in charge of your first or is it a free for all determined by the grandparents at the time?

Trying to give her benefit of the doubt, I know my mom would be upset if I didn’t let her know (if I was able to within reason) because she would be worried about ME. Maybe she was just a genuinely worried mom and sometimes that comes out like she’s angry AT you or making things about herself but really it’s out of love and concern? But ultimately I agree with other comments, your priority is making sure your other child is cared for and getting yourself help.

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