Being a stepmom makes being a mom that much harder

I don’t expect my step kid to help with siblings. But everything else is extremely on point and hard

I don’t have teen step kids I have a toddler step son and it’s so difficult because he doesn’t understand why he has to go back and forth. But the worst part is when he’s with his bio mom she lets him get away with murder and basically has no rules for him so when he’s here it’s incredibly difficult because his bio moms bf has basically encouraged him to behave poorly here. He’s 4 and he does things you’d expect out of a destructive 2 year old. And he knows better. I just had a baby in March so we also now have a 4 month old and he is so jealous of her and idek how or why because it feels more than “she gets more attention” I know this doesn’t help with your situation but maybe some reassurance that even this little bit of an age gap is also hard too. My only advice is maybe try and find ways that the whole family can spend time together. Water park, movie nights. Good luck ❤️

Here to talk if you need. I have never related more to a post. There are good days and bad days but currently I’ve had to remove the baby from teenage arguments at the dinner table.

Well I think it’s based on what type of household you want to create for your family. If they are teenagers and they ARE their half siblings, they should help you. Just as much as your husband wants to spend time with his kids, he should create a “whole” dynamic which includes the babies spending time with their siblings. You aren’t living in a house with 2 separate families. It’s your family, your home. The step kids are part of your home and what comes of your home. You’re not the outsider, remember that. ITS YOUR HOME and you need to be the example for your kids

Very well said, reminding yourself that it’s your home helps. If you feel more at home the stepchildren will too.

I’m step mom as well. I have a 7 month old bio baby and 5 year step daughter. She stays with her mom most days of the week and us the other days. It’s so hard! I read this blog post I wish I could find again…but it really helped. It was all
about stepping back as a step parent…in the beginning I was trying to control everything…our house our rules type of thing…in a nice way of course…but I was just getting so much push back…so I decided to step back with the energy of if you need me I am here, but I’ll be over here. Lol, taking care of myself and the baby. It worked for whatever reason…I get more respect mostly now. I also, before worked on talking to my husband quietly and calmly in another space so we can be on the same page..so now when I do make suggestions he backs me up. It has become a lot better.

I avoid it doing it directly, usually it’s when I’m flat out and my husband is working late I’ll ask for them to cover some chores or housework.. the last time I asked them to take the lead on one dinner during the week (they know how to make a few basics) offering suggestions and to help but got crickets. Their dad nudges them to step up but he can’t always be around to enforce/spell it out for them. Just need to keep lowering my expectations I guess

That sounds tough. I really like the suggestion to spend more time with everyone. Those are always the times when I feel the most fulfilled and least resentful, and we all understand each other better

Honestly so grateful you can relate. It can feel real lonely out here, especially with the uglier feelings that come up

I love the mantra of ‘this is my home.’ It’s tricky to figure out what to push though… we have dinner and usually lunch together and don’t have phones at the table but do I let them game all day? I invite them to go on hikes and outings with the little ones but they usually say no… if I was more of a parent I’d push them more but I’ve stepped back a lot in the past couple of years (mostly because of BM issues but also for myself) so I let a lot of behavior go that I would never allow a few years ago or with my “own” kids if it doesn’t DIRECTLY impact me or the littles but that line can be fuzzy

Do you follow mindy Kyle coaching on instagram or tik tok? She has really good insight and also master classes

checking her out and I already resonate with every post 😭
Thank you

Even having my 4 y/o stepson and my first baby this past year has made me sad that I won't get to experience being a mom for the first time just with my own son.