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Incognito Only! 👻

I hate my life because of my stepdaughter.

I have an AMAZING man, a wonderful teen daughter on the spectrum, and a super sweet 6 year old son who is also on the spectrum and has some developmental delays. About 3 years ago my husband's ex wife called in the middle of the night and said she couldn't handle their daughter anymore and to pick her up immediately. She was almost 15 at the time. I had NO problem and was quite excited at the prospect. Her mom has always been a POS and she needed a safe place to grow up. I have spent most of my adult life working with children in foster care so I have a soft spot for the kids coming out of abusive situations and the stories she was telling made it very clear it was not a healthy environment, at best. Little problems started to pop up quickly though. Supposedly not stealing but getting banned from stores for friends stealing, teachers suspecting cheating on school work, lots of small lies, blatantly breaking rules like sneaking food into her bedroom, etc. Nothing insane at first and I'm well versed in children acting out when they're troubled and struggling, so still no serious issues. She was just a teenager after all! It has gotten progressively worse though. She steals a LOT! All the time. From us, my kids, her friends, the school, etc., gets caught vaping at school and on the bus, has definitely been caught stealing in stores now, has received multiple consequences for cheating at school, she's been in fights, she's snuck around getting drunk and driving with friends, having unprotected sex (mind you, I've provided protection), had a boy seriously assaulted (hospital worthy) because she said she was raped by him even though she 100% admits that wasn't the case as soon as I started asking about the inconsistencies in her story, and so much more. It's been a rough ride. All along I've been her biggest advocate. I've gotten her every kind of help I could find! As soon as she has to put in effort, she no longer wants the help. The worst though... I can't take being lied to ALL the time. You literally can't believe anything she says. You can watch her do something, ask her about it and she will straight up tell you it didn't happen. I'm even beginning to doubt that the things her mom and stepdad did and said were even true and that makes me feel horrible.

It's so uncomfortable living in a home with someone you absolutely can't trust. I can't leave her alone and I have cameras everywhere and she STILL tries to lie. She will only back down and stop gaslighting me when I show her on camera. Then she cries and makes up excuses. Example... I kept catching her in our bedroom and couldn't figure out why. The 5th time I confronted her and I didn't back down. I demanded answers. She burst into tears and hysterics and explained she had an eating disorder and she was using the scale in my bathroom because it's more accurate than hers. Stupid, but I always try to see the best in people. So I felt terrible of course and jumped to get her help obviously. But I had also recently put in a camera. So i checked it and turns out she was just going through our things and taking whatever she wanted. This has obviously ruined our relationship at this point. I no longer want to live here and I finally realized I just don't fucking like her as a person. Love her as my kid, but I do not like her and would not have her in my life if I didn't have to. I am finding myself constantly depressed and angry and trying to avoid interaction with her, but she constantly fucks up and I have to. I'm a good person (wasnt always lol) and I want to raise my children to be good people and this is making that difficult. What the fuck do I do? Am I a POS too?

Thanks for reading my rant. I'm at the end of my rope obviously lol