Fiancé porn addiction while I’m pregnant

I’m sorry your dealing with this. Porn literally ruined our society.

I’m so sorry. You have every right to feel mad and sad about this. I always had a massive issue with porn, made his expectations higher of how often we should be having sex etc. It’s seriously a plague. Do you think you could work through it?

You’re not wrong for feeling mad or sad those are your feelings! if you haven’t had a convo on it I wouldn’t take it too to heart. If you’ve expressed you don’t like that and he’s still doing it then that’s a betrayal in my opinion. Personally I take no offense to porn and everyone feels differently so I think it’s just a convo that needs to be had and boundary that needs to be set. Maybe think about how you’d rather him satisfy that need and express that. Also, Not that you need to at all, especially if your not feeling in the mood, but maybe sending him some stuff of you could turn it into an opportunity for you guys to have some intimacy without you actually having to have sex since it sounds like ur not feeling it? Of course along with the convo, not trying to make it sound like that needs to replace his porn by any means just a suggestion to turn a shitty situation into a moment to come closer 🤷‍♀️

Completely valid. I’d be very hurt too. You’re 9 months pregnant and building up to marrying him. This isn’t what you would expect or want at any time, let alone when you’re meant to happy and looked after.
Playing devil’s advocate, perhaps he’s just thinking incredibly superficially about it all, and has just been stupid and thoughtless.

Hopefully he’s someone you can talk it out with, and hopefully he’s someone who will take accountability/listen/get real.

I hope you have happier times ahead, whatever happens.
Hope you can sort it out for the best.

Good luck with your imminent birth too.

I think this says a lot about the guy too tho. Mine watches and is very open about it. I don’t feel compared or less than or like it’s a hidden secret and he would never expect or pressure me to do something I don’t want to do or more often than i want to. If anything it’s brought us closer because we communicate so openly and trust each other to talk about things we may be interested in. How it’s approached and communicated and how boundaries are respected is the bigger picture imo. Porn or no porn the guy ur with wouldn’t be expecting any standard from you that your not comfortable with. it’s not a job you perform, it’s an intimate moment you both share.

I made it a huge thing that I would NEVER be okay with porn, ever. I genuinely do not care if he “needs’ to release, he will come to me and I can fulfill his needs. It ruins relationships BAD. and most men end up betraying their partners by doing chats & paying for content on onlyfans & or js straight up cheat from it. You have serious every right to be upset. While I was pregnant I found out my partner was doing it while I left for work or when he was at work in the bathroom (disgusting, literally addiction atp) and so I said u need to choose between ur porn or me and I said I will not be with you if you continue this bc I do not deserve to feel less than, or disgusting, or insecure because of YOU. ultimately he wanted me so I blocked that stuff off his phone in his screen time settings so he can’t watch it even when he feels he needs to. It may be absurd but if he has an addiction, I’m going to help him instead of leave him & only way to do so is to block it from him🤷🏻‍♀️

Tell him how u feel in depth. If he loves you fr he’ll try to stop & if y’all are believers I definitely recommend u lifting him up in prayer because porn addiction is very much spiritual. Especially if he’s at the stage where it’s an actual addiction. Also maybe try to take things at a slow & comfortable pace sex wise , if there’s anything tht he can possibly do to get u in that mood talk about it , it’s a lot being pregnant hormonal wise , surprisingly in my 3rd trimester I was kinda horny more often but things had to be gentle & comforting for me which took communication for him to get. Sex also sent me into labor couple weeks early to tho so be careful 🤣 all hope is not lost just try these things & see how it goes

I’m going to defend him a little simply because I’ve been in this situation, if it’s something you haven’t discussed with him he may not have thought that it would hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable, your 9 months pregnant and as you said in your post you haven’t been in the mood to do anything sexual, also for a man at this stage of the pregnancy he could be feeling the same not because he isn’t attracted to you and doesn’t want to be intimate with you but he may feel a tad uncomfortable having sex when your ready to pop, or he understands your too tired and are already in enough discomfort, you’re totally valid for how you feel and I think it’s something you need to address with him so that he knows that it has upset you, to me personally I get that I have needs too and if my man’s not in the mood that’s totally okay I’ll get myself off, i don’t think either of you are in the wrong but just need to communicate to eachother.

I personally don’t mind my partner watching porn if I’m not in the mood I have done it too, to me it becomes an issue when it does interfere with our sex life or if he’s paying for it for example only fans, or even if it’s someone we know (not that we know any pornstars but you get my drift - we know a girl that posts sexual content on twitter and if he was to get off to her content I’d be upset and pretty pissed) I would not be okay with any of this and my partner is completely aware, if any of my boundaries were broken then it would be a huge problem for me, although my partner usually uses my nudes to get off. He’s been honest about it so it isn’t like he’s trying to hide it from you which truly does make me believe that he didn’t think you’d mind giving that you haven’t been up to it and he’s just used it for a quick release. I’d try not to get to upset or mad about it and just sit down and communicate to him that it makes you uncomfortable if it continues then absolutely be mad.

At that point he is aware of how it makes you feel and that it breaks your boundaries and is still choosing to disrespect you and disregard your feelings and that’s not acceptable at all. I really hope you figure it out together and let it bring you’s closer together rather than cause a rift in your relationship especially so close to being able to experience such a beautiful moment together. Like I said you are completely valid for how you feel but sometimes we let our emotions take over especially at this stage of pregnancy and we fly off the handles forgetting men aren’t mind readers and don’t always use their heads in general. Good luck and I hope you have a brilliant birth experience and a safe arrival of your little one.

I have went through the same thing…. If you wanna talk feel free to dm me 🩷

I personally wouldn’t mind my husband self pleasuring the first round of pregnancy I felt so bad I physically couldn’t help please him. I wouldn’t mind watching with him and we self pleasure side by side but I get to pick what we watch. Men are men. Let’s not be so sensitive And selfish they have needs too. My husband has only ever been with me. Become his fantasy have fun together. Try things. With this current pregnancy I’ll definitely try to engage with him more I know it’s hard my sex drive is so low during pregnancy!!! But either way you got this. Set clear communication and try to meet in the middle, ladies we aren’t always right. 💕✨

Hey - sorry you’re feeling this way especially when you’re pregnant! Not nice at all.

I don’t see anything wrong with my partner (or myself) watching porn and to be honest from experience, when I watch it it’s just the sexual acts in themselves that give me pleasure. I’m not looking at men’s bodies or their faces etc.

Regardless of this, everyone is completely entitled to feel their own way about porn and I think if your partner was watching it excessively and not engaging sexually with you, it would be an issue