Would you class this as cheating?

Absolutely yes, no doubt he's physically cheating too because why would she send him a link to control her sex toy? He's obviously having sex with her. Throw that piece of crap to the curb

Yuck this is disgusting wtf

ON YOUR WAY HOME FROM SURGERY?! And he was taping away on his phone giving someone else an orgasm remotely?? How could that ever be ok

I’m honestly heart broken, we’ve been together 13 years, married 1. I called him out on it and he lied, even though I have photos of their messages between them. We’ve got 2 kids together, I just don’t know where to go from here x

it’s awful, I’d just had surgery for endometriosis and that’s what he’s doing. It’s made me feel sick

Oh wow, you poor woman, he's discusting, sending you love ❤️

thank you🤍

That’s absolutely cheating. I’m so sorry friend!!!

I’d probably send an email to HR of his office with all the evidence 🤷🏻‍♀️ and then walk away.
13 years and doing this foolishness is diabolical. So sorry girl xx

The fact he even did it for her says everything about him!! U can do better without him girl get rid asap! If he’s doing it remotely then he’s definitely doing it physical as well😢

love this, I’ve recently found out there’s rumours at work going around about them leading each other on. So tempted to message the people I know from his work with this evidence 🥲xx

not gonna lie, this made me smile haha x

Personally this doesn't seem like something two people would just randomly do without already having an established relationship as it suggests a level of trust, comfortability and obviously intimacy with each other. So I'd assume something has been going on a while. So sorry, sending love xx

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. Stand strong, hold your head high, send the evidence to his HR department or boss and leave his scummy arse.

I hope you are ok x

The fucking AUDACITY of men never ceases to amaze me!! 😤

Ooooo girl, tell everyone. His mum, his gran. Tell all his bloodclart family. Fuck it, put screenshots in the family group chat. Send to HR. Tomorrow look for a divorce solicitor. Let him be jobless, penniless and destitute. Fucking prick. 🤬

Thank you everyone, definitely didn’t need this while recovering from surgery💔 x

yessssss! I’m so here for this. People should think about the consequences of their actions.

Is she coupled up or?
I’d be inclined to tell her partner if she is. See how she likes heartbreak.

I personally would. I wish you had the email address to be able to email his whole department. It’s disgusting and it isn’t something done as a one off for fun, they’re evidently comfortable with each other.

Finish him!

Firstly, he is absolutely disgusting and there is no doubt that it is cheating. I’m so sorry.

Secondly, quite a few people are saying about contacting HR. I work in HR and unless one of them is the manager of the other then we wouldn’t do anything about it.

that’s not strictly true for every business. It all depends on the policies of the business and what sector they work in.

For instance, this is not allowed when working with children. HR must be informed of any personal/intimate relationships between coworkers so that they can put safeguards in place and ensure that the coworkers aren’t working together at the same time.
Also; when I worked in insurance, that company had a similar policy. They wanted HR to be informed of any inter office relationships as this can cause complications if/when things go wrong which would then possibly affect the office environment.

The fact she felt like she could do that leads me to believe more was happening between them leading up to this action...I am so sorry 😢

Agree with all the above except the HR stuff. You have two kids together- does he provide for them? Getting him fired wouldn’t really help them. Other than that- yes, what he did is absolutely disgusting and do whatever you feel is needed.

🎯🎯🎯

he is our main provider, if I leave him I’m really going to financially struggle- Just wish he hadn’t of been so stupid to risk his whole family on one stupid mistake

Omfg I’m so sorry what a tool

My lov this is not a ‘stupid mistake’ he knows exactly what he is doing! I’m so sorry you’ve been treated this way! No woman deserves this. Someone in the comments said Finish Him!!! And I couldn’t agree more!

Incog it sounds like you’ve already forgiven him? 😩

Please remember this everytime you look at him. That when you were at your most vulnerable in hospital after surgery, he was far more engrossed thinking about another woman’s pussy and how he could make her cum. He’s probably fucked her numerous times in the past and they’ve both laughed at you. Are you mad yet? Good. Now keep that energy and use it to make a plan to leave the dirty bastard. He’s wasted 13 years of your life, don’t let him waste another 10/20/30 years.

If you’re in the UK, you are sorted. You will be fine on benefits as a single mum with your housing and childcare covered. Put him on child support and go on the gov website to find out what you’d be entitled to. There’s no need to stay with someone just because of finances. It won’t be easy, no, but it’s a damn sight better than living with someone who could betray you in the worst way possible.

I hope you have an easy recovery in the meantime.

Get a divorce lawyer that specializes in cheating spouses

I hope you listen to most of the advice on here. I was just saying don’t act irrationally by getting him fired if you’re going to need him to keep providing for the kids. I used to do family law and saw many women get their significant others in trouble at work, get them fired, and then complain when the child support payments stop 🤦🏽‍♀️.
If you’re in the US, find a good family law attorney and they will advise you accordingly. There are plenty of organizations that specialize in low-bono representation that have excellent attorneys. Most would also have resources or affiliations with organizations that can provide other supports such as housing etc for you and your kids if you have no family support. Depending on the state, 10 years together is significant, and you may be entitled/eligible to more support than you think.

I’m sorry but this definitely wasn’t just “one stupid mistake” he has clearly been cheating and does not respect you. I don’t see how anyone could forgive this.

If you know the link, send it to everyone at her work place 😂

I know, I just mean that not every business is going to do something about it so there’s no point in contacting HR unless there is a reason for them to actually act on it. Otherwise you’re just spreading gossip which to be fair might be something the OP wants to take advantage of 🤷‍♀️

WHAT THE FUCK

yes!!!!😭😭😭😭😭

Could also do it yourself and record her at the job and get her fired🫶🏻

Yes that's definitely crossing the line. It's not like he's watching porn and it's people that he'll never talk to or whatever that somebody he sees probably on a daily basis and she's trash for talking to a married guy and giving him her sex toy stuff.

I love peanut 🤣 girlies you’re amazing🫶🏻

I don’t think there’s any coming back from this for us, we’ve had the conversation and I’ve had his ring back. Now to heal ✨ x

Here if you need anything hun! I hope your healing is quick and easy 💜

Proud as fuck of you for knowing what you do and don’t deserve. I hope the next chapter of your life is stress free and allows you the freedom to learn and be exactly who you are. 🤍✨

Hmmm, what?

Update????

She’s given one in the comments 🙂

Just curious how you found that out? 😬 I’m so sorry.

Absolutely disgusting

1,000% do what said.

Excuse me? Hell to the no. YES this is cheating.

Entertaining anyone woman in any sort of sexual talk is cheating. If it was some small flirting with someone they wouldn’t see again and gave no indication it could go further I’d say maybe don’t be so dramatic, although pissed off lol, but this is weird and too personal, especially someone he sees everyday at work