Child care options

Hi, I’m due back at work early next year and thinking about options for childcare. My preference would be a nanny in my home since I’ll be working from home and would like to see my child during the day. However, after contacting several agencies in London the cost is exorbitant (£24 per hour + agency fees + additional costs) regardless if you are looking for a full time nanny.

I’m aware that the cost of nursery is also very high, but the staff don’t necessarily get paid well. Surely there are trained nursery staff that would be interested in a nanny position that would be reasonably priced? Any advice on how to search for such staff, or advice on finding reasonably priced Nannie’s for a full time position?

Thanks.

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Do you qualify for funded hours or not? If so, nursery is much cheaper than a nanny. You could also do a mix eg 2 days nanny 3 days nursery. Take a look at Koru Kids for Nannie’s

How olds your LO?
How many hrs per day do you envisage working? (You said WFH)
What area do you live?

We have a lady that lives in with us. 35hrs a wk salaried wage. It isn’t the cheaper option but I’m a solo parent with no extended family. And I needed and wanted a situation like this for my LO’s early yrs for both myself and my daughter.

Agencies fee’s are astronomical! eventually found the lady that lives with us (and has become part of our small little family unit) through an agency. So i know what you mean, their fee’s are just so stupidly expensive!

But now I know how it all works if ever had to look for one again I’m more aware of where you can search for one’s independently and what to look out for. But having never done it before and not knowing anyone that had, ended up going through an agency.

I’ll be honest having a nanny for my LO and WFH has caused no issues for us. Lady we have isn’t bothered I’m home. See my daughter throughout the day. Don’t need get her to nursery etc. She’s an ex nursery worker. Her pay rate is minimum wage based on fact she lives with us for free (groceries included).

Like I said not cheap compared to nursery. But I had limited support and wanted widen my little one’s world in her early yrs where our family unit is just us.

The one on one personalised care she gets has really made her super advanced, sociable and confident. But I say that for our scenario more so, because our home/family circle is small. Not at all knocking nurseries. As it’s huge financial sacrifice but for our situation was much needed for variety reasons and has proven so worth it. This ladies become part of the family LO adores her.

If you need any advice on online forums for searching for independant Nannie’s or anything just ping me message.

this is also a good idea.
A mix of both. If you wanted to get the funded hrs benefit and then pay ontop for some at home nanny childcare help.

Childcare app is good for searching for some independant Nanny’s and there’s some good fb pages you can post what your looking for to find ones also.

Hey, so I am a nanny and founded thechildcareguide.co.uk exactly for this reason.

Agencies are £££ I know families have paid up to £10k for an agency to introduce me to them

Nannies are an expensive childcare option, but at the rates you are being quoted, you will be looking at an experienced and qualified person.

Working in a nursery and being a nanny are very different. I have met many ex nursery workers who have really struggled with the transition to being a nanny, some have even returned to nursery despite the big pay difference.

If you want someone in your home, I would look for someone newly qualified. Or a live in mother's helper/nanny depending on what you need.

The cheapest type of childcare is usually a childminder.

If you qualify for funded hours, you can only use those with a nursery or childminder.

If you want to use a nanny, but don't want to use an agency then this blog is essential for you to read https://www.thechildcareguide.co.uk/blog/how-to-verify-a-nanny

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?