Had a huge argument with my husband this morning in front of baby there was shouting and yelling I feel terrible, this is the second time we had argument in front of baby (18 months), I want to talk to him about couple therapy when we are both calm and rational again. Feel absolutely like the worse parents. I am in doubt of this marriage as I feel we always just fight , make up, fight it’s a vicious loop, both stubborn, especially my husband. Looking at my sweet daughter I felt so guilty and sorry about what happened. What if these events caused trauma to her psychologically? I will never forgive myself … but my partner even tho he feels bad but he has no control over his emotions sometimes and refuse to see a therapist.
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Don't beat yourself up , you are both human and it can be difficult to keep these emotions in our pockets to carry later . I would not give my husband the choice as to now he is a father, it isn"t about his comfort zones but about the good of your family.
Especially if you feel he is tge obe who cannot deal wrh his emotion mainly, at least urge him to seek ways to handle his emotions.
I believe the trauma comes from living in general violent environment where you feel unsafe and manipulated, and if you feel like the atmosphere is always tense, then the two of you need to sort something out.
But please, be compassionate with yourself as guilt brings us nowhere, tge worst parent would not think twice about their doings!