Rant

Hi mums, I need to rant. Ever since my son was born at 27weeks all I’ve done is be there everyday at the hospital 12 hours a day for 10 weeks, we come home finally and my partner has 2 weeks off for pat. He spent the whole time moving into our new house, which is understandable but didn’t even think to help me out with our baby. He works 7 days a week and has told me he try’s his best to avoid feeding or looking after our son because he doesn’t think he loves him. Our son hardly knows him!!! He gets frustrated after 10/20 minutes of having him, that’s with me in the room. I tell him I deal with it 24/7. He worked a whole month straight and I didn’t get any sleep or any breaks. He’s going away on holiday with a few work friends in September , he goes to the pub with his friends, he gets to leave the house for work. I don’t. I’m stuck in. I have no friends, my family live 3 hours from me. My 2 cats just recently died and my 3rd just had a fractured jaw. £1200 in the vets, he told me I should just put her down. I’m constantly cleaning the house, making his lunch, doing dinner, bathing baby, feeding baby, changing baby’s mum, entertaining baby I keep telling him I’m drained, I’m tired. I’m crying to him all the time for help and support and he’s giving me the silent treatment. Hasn’t spoken to me for over 24 hours and we live in the same house. I just want a hug but he won’t even sit in the same room as me.

I’m not sure how much longer I can do this I’m just scared to leave.

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In this situation your just the caretaker of your kids and his slave and even then the only benefit you get is nothing and he gets treated like a king and do as he pleases when tbh you could just leave and it will be hard but you just get all u have already just not have to deal with him and his laziness and his sad excuses for not trying to connect with your baby if you are unhappy while your child is young leave because then he will never know any different and baby is better off having a happy mum than an unhappy mum and a dad who doesn’t even try

Mamma I’m sorry but u need to GOOOOOO pack up you and baby and roll out to your familys…that is not a life to live and definitely not someone who deserves your attention. I know I probably done live anywhere near you but you can message me anytime just to vent cuz this is not healthy for you 💜

It sounds like your already a single mam chick, sorry to hear your going through this! Best bet is to leave, if he cares he will try, if he don't. .well there's your answer unfortunately! At least you know your strong and you CAN do it 💪🏻 I hope whatever you decide, you find some peace x

He’s a complete AH lovely lady- please don’t let him bring you down, baby needs a happy mama. I’d pack me and the baby up and go back and stay with family until you get on you feet. He doesn’t deserve you but baby deserves you to be happy and healthy.

Thankyou girls, I’ve ended things. I’ll be going to stay with my mum for a little while with my baby. Heart broken but it’s for the best, my baby needs me on top form

Could you not go see your family for a little bit maybe a break apart would help clear both of your heads , i know men can get postnatal depression also , have you thought about counselling to help you both , i think you've both had emotional pressures and that can definitely take a toll on your health and mental health sounds like you need a break away though x

I’m sorry but you’re already a single parent, so if I were in your shoes I would be leaving and getting a place nearer to my family, to have some support. At least the stress of your relationship would be gone and you’d likely feel happier in the long run.

It seems to me that he’d rather work and be with his friends than take on responsibility and be a parent. I’m not sure if the baby was planned, but it does seem like he doesn’t want to make the effort to try and be a dad. But if you do leave he does have a responsibility to still provide for his child financially.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?

Do your kids grandparents do things with them or make “memories” with them?

Like take them out to do anything or offer to watch or do stuff with them?

My kids are 4 and 7 and not 1 of 3 grandparents have ever spent or offered or wanted to spend quality time with them besides coming over to scroll on their phone for 3 hours and then leave.