Family culture difference on money
Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!
So Iโm a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We arenโt on the bread line but we arenโt flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.
Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (โฅ๏ธ vinted โฅ๏ธ). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.
Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (heโs Indian, Iโm British). Iโm my family we donโt mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubbyโs family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of ยฃ just because.
Hubbyโs brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, heโs been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasnโt given the same back because brother is much richer.
Hubby and I mostly share finances. If itโs relevant Iโm the higher earner.
Now to the point! My babies are so cute theyโve given hubbyโs brother (currently single) baby rabies. Heโs asked for our baby stuff when weโre done with it. Heโs been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But Iโd never have bought some of the stuff if I wasnโt going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldnโt equal what the brother had given hubby.
I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.
So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?
No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.
Going back to work!
Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. Heโs recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position wonโt be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! ๐คฃ but this is what Iโm struggling with the most, Iโve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time Iโve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. Iโm sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! Iโm sure once Iโm on maternity leave I wonโt even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?
