“The consequences of not responding to a baby's cries”

So honestly you have to take this stuff with a grain of salt. There has been a lot of research showing that all of these are possible side effects, which is why I personally don’t use the cry it out method. In my mind, I imagine what it would be like being all but paralyzed and unable to talk and screaming/crying because it’s the only way I’m capable of communicating to my caregivers that I need something or something is wrong. Of course there are times where they can’t respond right away (in the car, taking a shower etc.) but if they respond in a timely manner MOST of the time then of course I’ll still be secure. I think about the kind of hopelessness I would have to feel to finally stop crying. You need to do what works for you and your family. I was lucky to have an incredible amount of support. If I didn’t have that support I probably would have had days where I would have been so overwhelmed I would have had to let her cry. I absolutely do not advocate for cry it out but I’m also

Not going to villainize anyone for choosing to use that method. Everyone has their own unique circumstances and ultimately we are all trying to do what we believe is best for our children.

I do have to say my baby went through a period of time where she started crying and screaming much more frequently and she escalated to that almost immediately. I truly believe it was because my husband and I decided to try letting her fuss and not respond unless it was a full cry (his idea not mine) After about 3 days she stopped fussing and would go straight to screaming and crying. I spent a single day responding to her THE MOMENT she started fussing or looking like she was about to fuss and after one day she basically stopped crying.

thank you, I am doing my best. My baby screaming is recently new maybe 1 week new, I at first thought it was her experimenting her voice because not only is she doing that she also arcs her back, and again I thought she found a new thing like her sucking her hands and stuff or tapping the table or my shoulders when hugging her and then I came across this video and just completely changed my way of thinking and made me feel guilty . I’ll try to give her more attention and see if anything changes.

Just remember, you don’t have to do things perfectly to be a good mom. Raising a baby is like an ongoing experiment, things that used to work stop working and things that didn’t used to work suddenly become your saving grace! Don’t be afraid to try something new or different for a couple of days to see if there are any changes, and if there aren’t you can always try something else! You’re never locked into doing something one way for the rest of your life. You can always change the way you’re doing something and see how your little one reacts! (Also, with the back arching, has your baby ever struggled with reflux? Mine had huge issues with silent reflux and reacted in a similar way.)

oh idk if she had relfux. Do I ask the doctor about this or is this something I can find out on my own?

I’d ask your doctor about it. My little girl was diagnosed late was because my doctor told me that they could only have reflux if they were spitting up an excessive amount. (Which totally isn’t true) Take a look at the symptoms of silent reflux and just reflux in general and see if any of the symptoms match!

A lot of research on leaving babies to cry is based on babies who are neglected not babies who have loving parent and make sure their needs are met first. If you need a break its safer to leave your baby to cry in a safe place than to get frustrated by them.

this feels reasonable it makes sense it’s true I do love her we both do I don’t want to angry at her the way my parents did to me so I try not to feel it I try to let it pass me then proceed

We regulate their nervous system when they are this young, so its important to tend to their cries. Try baby wearing while you get things done and see if that helps.

Definitely look up the safe ways to do it, though (hip safety), and still make sure sure she gets plenty of tummy time and time to move around on her own.

Yes, all of these are results of “cry it out” method.
Look at the generation that was raised on it.

There are plenty of social experiments that prove the “cry it out” method was the worst behavior thought of its time.

Books that have helped me
•Raising Securely Attached kids by Eli Harwood
• Why will no one play with me by Teresa Caroline Maguire
•You are your child’s first teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy
• Raising mentally strong kids by Daniel G Amen
• Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Ann Johnson
• How Children Succeed by Paul Tough
• The book you wish your parents had by Philippa Perry


On a personal level, by responding to my child immediately, she is 4 months & sleeps through the night.
Crying is her last resort in terms of communication.
She doesn’t require contact naps.
She’s ok sleeping by herself.
She uses a blanket to sleep and knows what it’s for. She will cover and uncover herself.

(Ran out of space)… continued

I like to compare Crying for a baby to Money for an adult.
If a baby has to focus on crying to communicate, they can’t focus on properly developing.
Same as if an adult constantly has to think about money to make ends meet, they can’t focus on fun or relaxation. Let alone to learn new things.

If you grew up not concerned about your bills being paid, food in your tummy, warm bath.
That’s like coming to your baby immediately, learning your baby’s cues so you know what they want before they have to cry. 🤍

Yeah, pages like this are meant to scare and shame moms, but the reality is that most, if not all of the studies that support these conclusions are done with fully neglected babies, not babies who are occasionally left to cry for short periods but still have a loving parent who tends to their needs. Leaving a baby to cry for hours is far different from pausing to make a cup of coffee. It is also important to put them down if you feel yourself getting stressed to the point of frustration. I learned very quickly how easy it is to get there, and putting baby down even if they are crying is the best thing to do. A crying baby is an alive baby.

As they get older, like toddler age, they will scream bloody murder and you will have to tune it out sometimes. If you are attentive to their needs your child will not be harmed by short periods of crying.

Of course being attentive also means paying attention if there is a reason they might be crying all the time, like digestive issues, colic, etc.

I have numerous kiddies .. at times I have to let one cry if I'm sorting another. For example, one hurts themselves, they need me in that moment, then another might cry cause I've stopped playing with them to sort it. If I'm changing one of the littler ones, then another's crying because they want a cuddle. I'm not going to stop midchange.

Sometimes you have to let them cry. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Sometimes things happen.

I think this post is referring to those whose parents always leave the screaming (neglect) not general moments as such.

I heard if you have numerous, you leave the baby crying to see to the older one, apparently it can prevent jealousy and the older one will remember but the baby won't. If I'm alone I judge it on what the greater need is.. example nappy Vs headbump, headbump first.

Try not to worry yourself, the fact you are worried about it is proof you're a good mum x

I just want to say that your baby is only so little for so long. Nothing is more important than giving them love and comfort. I know that’s easier said than done. But I rather leave a sink full of wares for a little longer than I’d like to just lie down or play with my baby. Before you know it, they’re toddlers and don’t want to snuggle but the connection your form with them as a baby lasts so that they always have that special bond with you.